I have been collecting guest posts and stories for the last few weeks and have brought them all together as part of the Smorgasbord Christmas Party. There will be humour, short stories, stories about family and friends, music, humour and some food of course. The posts are scheduled right up to Christmas, but if you would still like to promote your blog, books or other creative work there are some other opportunities to be found here.
For my first guest…. who better to kick the party off than author John. W. Howell whose short stories are edgy, humourous and always leave you wanting more. Here is a story that John has written especially for the Smorgasbord Christmas Party.
A Christmas Story
by John W. Howell ©2016
Who’s there?”
“Where?”
“In the living room. I can hear you stomping around.”
“There’s no one here.”
“If there is no one there how come you are answering my questions?”
“Would be rude not to answer wouldn’t you say?”
“What do you want?”
“I don’t want anything. I’m Santa Claus, filling your stockings and putting gifts under your tree.”
“Come on now. There’s no such thing as Santa Claus.”
“Okay. Have it your way. I’ll need a few minutes to put all this stuff back.”
“Okay. I’m coming in there, and I’m warning you I have a gun.”
“I can always tell I’m in Texas.”
“What?”
“Nothing. Just talking to myself.”
“I’m going to turn on the light. Don’t make any moves.”
“Fine. I’m standing here as still as I can be.”
“Hey. You don’t look like Santa Claus.”
“What is Santa supposed to look like?”
“You know. Big belly, red suit, white beard, mouth drawn up in a bow.”
“Well, the PR firm was in charge of that image. I didn’t necessarily go along with it.”
“PR firm?”
“Yeah. You know those guys who give the public an image. Those Coke commercials pretty much started it all. I’m more of a Brooks Brothers type. Besides the red outfit is a bear when sliding down chimneys.”
“So you do slide down chimneys?”
“Mostly through the wall. It is much easier.”
“Wait. You can go through walls?”
“I can see you have a tough time with faith don’t you Ferd?”
“Name’s Frank. Hey, hold on. If you were Santa, you would know that.”
“Sure I would. Let’s see how many Franks would you say there are in this world. Come on Frank. Give me a break. I used “Ferd” as a term of endearment.”
“You’re confusing me.”
“Not hard to do I might add. So, should I gather up all this stuff and see you next year or what?”
“W-well. I can see some pretty nice stuff.”
“You were laid off weren’t you Frank?”
“Y-yes.”
“Don’t you think little Jimmy would like this bike?”
“S-sure. Sure he would. My wife would like that coat too.”
“So what do you say? I leave all the stuff, and you have a Merry Christmas.”
“How will I ever repay you?”
“Only one way to do that Frank.”
“How’s that? I don’t have any money.’
“Won’t take money, Frank.”
“What then.”
“Do you your best this year to foster peace on Earth and goodwill to humankind. Can you do that?”
“I-I will try very hard Santa.”
“You’re a good man, Frank. Bless you. Now where did you hide the cookies and milk?”
About John W. Howell
John’s main interests are reading and writing. He turned to writing as a full-time occupation after an extensive career in business. John writes thriller fiction novels and has a number of short stories published in various on-line magazines. One of his short stories has been recognized by Writers Digest in the Popular Fiction Writing contest. His novel, My GRL published by Martin Sisters Publishing and is the first of many exciting adventures of the book’s central character John J. Cannon. The second, His Revenge published by Keewaydin Lane Books is now available in Paperback and Kindle formats. He has recently published the third book in the series, Our Justice.
Buy John’s Books: Amazon Author’s page – https://www.amazon.com/author/johnwhowell
John lives on Mustang Island in the Gulf of Mexico off the coast of south Texas with his wife and their spoiled rescue pets.
You will find some great articles and photographs on John’s website with a different perspective of the same spot each week
Connect with John.
Blog Fiction Favorites, http://www.johnhowell.com
Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/john.howell.98229241
Twitter – https://www.twitter.com/HowellWave
Authors db – http://www.authorsdb.com/authors-directory/6604-john-w-howell
LinkedIn – http://www.linkedin.com/pub/john-w-howell/48/b59/462/
Google + https://plus.google.com/+JohnHowellAuthor/
Goodreads – http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/7751796.John_W_Howell
Shelfari – http://www.shelfari.com/johnwhowell
Amazon Author’s page – https://www.amazon.com/author/johnwhowell
Martin Sisters Publishing – Http://www.martinsisterspublishing.com
My thanks to John for writing this story especially for the blog and I hope that if you are not already connected to him that you will head over and introduce yourselves.
Lots more guests with their special contributions to come and also festive recipes and music. Thanks for dropping in and please help yourself to a mince pie.. If it is your first of the season you have to make a wish.. I hope it comes true.
Reblogged this on Legends of Windemere.
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Thank you for sharing Charles. xx
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Always happy to help. 🙂
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Thank you, Charles
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You’re welcome.
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Good one, John.
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Thanks for dropping in Craig..
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Thanks, Craig.
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Ha ha ha. Rolling in the aisles, John. Another fab banter and with Santa. Who knew he’s real? 😀 😀 😀
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Thanks Tess.. and you didn’t know he was real…oh my..hugs
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Thanks, Tess. Of course he is real. 🙂
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Lovely! All conversation. 🙂 Merry Christmas! Xoxo
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Glad you enjoyed too Angie.. I will be putting out mince pies again this year… xxx
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Thank you, Angie. The same to you,
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Ho, ho ho! ❤ the tale, the reminder AND the mince pie. #Yummo
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Thanks, Annette. 🙂
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Thanks Annette.. sorry not to be able to enjoy a mince pie with you in person.. xxx
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It appears that I best be suggesting to my sister about whipping up another. They are her favorite AND she loves making them/
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Fresh baked are best… I dare not buy a box yet they will go in an evening.. will never get my party frock on! hugs xx
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Reblogged this on Sue Vincent's Daily Echo.
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Thank you, Sue. 🙂
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My pleasure, John 🙂
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🙂
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Thank you for sharing Sue.. some special guests to the party … hugs
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Looking forward to more, Sally 🙂
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I always enjoy John’s great sense of humour. A great start to the series, Sally. 🎅
I forgot to make a wish when eating my first mince pie of the season. It was back in October, so please remind me again at beginning of October 2017. 😀 I’m counting on you.
xx
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Here’s your reminder Hugh. Put it on the fridge. Thanks for stopping.
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Now I just need somebody to remind me to do that. 😀
Thanks, John. I always enjoy the conversations you put in these short stories. I read the one about the taxi driver earlier. Classic!
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Thank you so much, Hugh.
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I will Hugh.. perhaps you could chalk that one down to a practice one and get a wish in anyway.. hugs
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Thanks, Sally. I’m on to it. 🎅
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Thank you so much again, Sally. The story looks great here.
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Reblogged this on Fiction Favorites and commented:
Sally Cronin has a feature titled “Smorgasbord Christmas Party” and she has graciously allowed me to tell a story. Please check her posts from now until Christmas for more stories from other authors. Thanks, Sally
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Thank you John for starting the party in such style.. mince pies on their way! hugs
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Super.:-D
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You have to believe to receive! Nicely done, John.
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Thank you for popping in Dan and commenting.
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Thanks, Dan. That is the point. 😀
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Good one, John!
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Thank you, Teri. 🙂
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What a lovely Christmas message. good ole Santa!
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Thanks. I always thought of him as a CEO type.
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Thanks for dropping in Paul.
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Cookies sound pretty good right now, especially after such a warm Christmas story… Just tweeted the link 🙂
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Thank you Gwen.. much appreciated.
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Thank you, Gwen. Here have a cookie. 🙂
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Haha! At least Santa kept the milk & cookies part of the image. Now I’m wondering what he really looks like… Sounds like I might want to wait up for him after all! 😈 😉
John is a master of dialogue. I can’t think of *anyone* else who can write the currently fashionable “untagged” dialogue without confusing me. Well done again, John. Mega hugs.
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Thanks Teagan.. our chimneys are blocked.. and the woodburner is too narrow.. so glad he can walk through walls.. hugs xxx
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Thank you so much, Teagan. Do you mean I’m in fashion? I had hoped to avoid that. Hugs to you! 🙂
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Now I believe! Great story, John!
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Thanks for dropping in..
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You have to believe, Jo. If not oh well. Lump of coal for you. 😀 Thanks for the visit.
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As always,I love your work, John! Poor Santa!
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Thank you, John. Poor Santa? He winters in Palm Springs after the holidays. 😀 Drives a Mercedes as well.
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BLASPHEMY!!!! Santa’s a Canadian, eh! A REAL Canadian, not one of those lily-livered snow birds! LOL
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Okay. Have it your way. (He’s an Antartician by the way)
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Loved Santa’s spirit in this story. A little kindness and humanity reminder was a great message from Santa. And he did not forget to collect on his cookies. Great story John. 🙂
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Thanks Debby.. ♥
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Pleasure Sal. ❤
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What a great Christmas story to start us off with, Thank you,John, I enjoyed your modern Santa!!!
Thanks for the virtual mince pie too, Sally, I can enjoy that guilt free! 🙂
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Pleasure Judy.. plenty more where that came from… hugs
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Looking forward to them 😅😆
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Great story, John. I liked that you told your story without any tags. Peace and goodwill to you. 👍
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The PR firm cracked me up! Wonder what constituted a PR firm back in the day … Pashas racing on horseback across the steppe, carrying glad tidings to all would listen? Loved the story, John. And Sal, please send a mince pie ~ desperately needed. I’ve already got the whipped cream to bury it in 🙂 ♥
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Thanks Tina. Love John’s stories… and mince pie on its way.. hugs ♥
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This was a different and enjoyable story
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Thanks Robbie.. Hugh likes to put an edge on his stories.. certainly got people talking.. xx
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