Just because I am not officially here this week… it does not mean that you are being neglected. A band of fellow writers are standing in for me this week as official Blog Sitters. I am delighted to hand you over to the delightful Mrs. T.. (also known as Tina Frisco) Please check out her books and blog in the links at the end of the post. Thanks Sally
If you have worked in any environment you will have experienced the missteps that can occur, particularly when watching managers finding their way up the ladder. Mrs. T.. has sent me through some guidelines that will grease the ladder …. however that can also aid progress in the other direction.
Five-Minute Management Course
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie pops out. ‘I’ll give each of you just one wish,’The Genie says.
‘Me first! Me first!’ says the admin clerk. ‘I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.’ And poof! She’s gone.
‘Me next! Me next!’ says the sales rep. ‘I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of piña coladas, and the love of my life.’ And poof! He’s gone.
‘OK, you’re up,’ the Genie says to the manager.
In a firm voice, the manager says, ‘I want those two back in the office after lunch!’
Moral: Always let your boss have the first say.
A man gets into the shower just as his wife finishes hers, when the doorbell rings. The woman quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. She opens the door to Bob, the next-door neighbor.
‘I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel,’ he says. She thinks for a moment, then drops the towel. After a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. She wraps the towel around herself and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks who was at the door, and she tells him it was Bob.
‘Great!’ says her husband. ‘Did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?’
Moral: If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
A priest offers a Nun a lift. She gets in and crosses her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly has an accident. After regaining control of the car, he stealthily slides his hand up her leg.
The nun says, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest removes his hand but lets it slide up her leg again when changing gears.
The nun repeats, ‘Father, remember Psalm 129?’
The priest apologizes. ‘Sorry, Sister, but the flesh is weak.’ Arriving at the convent, the nun sighs heavily and goes on her way.
Upon arriving at the church, the priest hurries to look up Psalm 129, which reads: ‘Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.’
Moral: If you are not well-informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.
An eagle is sitting on a tree, resting and doing nothing.
‘Can I also sit like you and do nothing?’ asks a small rabbit from the ground.
‘Sure, why not,’ the eagle replies.’
So the rabbit sits down, rests, and does nothing. All of a sudden a fox appears, jumps on the rabbit, and eats it.
Moral: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
A turkey is chatting with a bull. ‘I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,’ sighs the turkey, ‘but I haven’t got the energy.’
The bull replies, ‘Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings? They’re packed with nutrients.’
The turkey pecks at a lump of dung and finds it actually gives him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating more dung, he reaches the second branch. Finally, after a fourth night, the turkey is proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He is promptly spotted by a farmer, who shoots him out of the tree.
Moral: Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.
A little bird is flying south for the winter. It is so cold that he freezes and falls into a large field. While he is lying there, a cow comes by and drops some dung on him. Frozen and covered in dung, the little bird begins to notice how warm he is. The dung is actually thawing him out!
He lies there all warm and happy, and soon begins to sing for joy. A passing cat hears him singing and comes to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovers the bird under the pile of dung, promptly digs him out, and eats him.
Moral: Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy; not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend; and when you’re in deep shit, it’s best to keep your mouth shut!
If you would like to show your appreciation for the many laffs that Mrs T has passed over to be used anonymously on this blog and others then please check out her latest book on Amazon.
Discover Tina’s books and read the reviews: https://www.amazon.com/Tina-Frisco/e/B009NMOFNY
Connect to Tina via her blog: https://tinafrisco.com/blog/
Thank you for dropping by today.. It would be great if you would share the laffs around and bring a smile to many more faces.. Thanks Sally