Time for some Laffs – Love makes the world go around and so does laughter

Love is universal but since time began the institution of marriage has provided comic relief….Here are few snippets on the subject.

Did you hear about the actor who got to play a man who’s been married for twenty years. Next time he hopes to get a speaking part!

☺☺☺

Two men are discussing what their wives think about them. The first man says. ‘My wife thinks so much of me that she won’t let me do any work around the house.’

The second man says. ‘That’s nothing; my wife thinks I’m a God.’

‘She thinks you’re a god?’ replies the first man.’ What makes you say that?’

‘It’s obvious. Every night when I get home she places a burnt offering in front of me!’

☺☺☺

A very wealthy but miserly businessman died in an accident and when the lawyer read out the will his wife was astonished to discover that he insisted on all his money being buried with him.

On the day of the funeral as the family and friends gathered to pay their respects one of the wife’s friends stood with her arm about her.

“I understand that he wanted to be buried with all his money, how did you get it all in the coffin with him?”

The wife smiled sweetly.. “I gave him a cheque”

☺☺☺

Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.” Husband says: “Looks like he’s still celebrating!!”

☺☺☺

A woman is showing off a huge diamond on her finger to her friends. ‘This is the Klopman diamond, worth millions,’ she tells them, ‘but there is a terrible curse that goes with it.’

‘What is the curse? ask her friends breathlessly.   ‘Mr. Klopman.’

☺☺☺

A police officer flags down an elderly driver and says, ‘Excuse me sir, didn’t you realise your wife fell out of the car three miles back?’

‘Thank God,’ the old man replies, ‘I thought I’d gone deaf.’

☺☺☺

The man approached the very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, “You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?” “Why?” “Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”

☺☺☺

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the wife asked, “Honey, if I died would you get married again?” The husband said, “No sweetie.” The woman said, “I’m sure you would.” So the man said, “Okay, I would” Then the woman asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?” And the man replied, “Ya, I guess so.” Then the wife asked, “Would you let her use my golf clubs?” And the husband replied, “No, she’s left handed.”

☺☺☺

Want to hear an interesting story? Send a message to your wife:
“I know everything, how could you?”.

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This entry was posted in humour, It is a Wonderful Life. and tagged , , by Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.. Bookmark the permalink.

About Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.

My name is Sally Cronin and I am doing what I love.. Writing. Books, short stories, Haiku and blog posts. My previous jobs are only relevant in as much as they have gifted me with a wonderful filing cabinet of memories and experiences which are very useful when putting pen to paper. I move between non-fiction health books and posts and fairy stories, romance and humour. I love variety which is why I called my blog Smorgasbord Invitation and you will find a wide range of subjects. You can find the whole story here. Find out more at https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/about-me/

32 thoughts on “Time for some Laffs – Love makes the world go around and so does laughter

  1. Pingback: Time for some Laffs – Love makes the world go around and so does laughter | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

  2. The last one was… the dogs as they say. But they are very biased we need to balance it with Some against the husband. Meanwhile… An octogenarian with a dollybird hanging off his arm went in the jewellers on Friday evening and ordered the biggest diamond ring they had. The jeweller asked for a deposit. The old man said he only had £20 on him but left a cheque for the full amount to be cashed on collection once the ring was sized. On Monday he phoned the Jeweller cancelling the order, when astonished the man said “you will lose your deposit” The octogenarian said it was worth it. “What do you mean”? Where else could a man of my age get a whole weekend of out of this world sex for £20.??

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Pingback: Smorgasbord Round Up – Bruce Springsteen, The Borgias, Illustrations and New Review series | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

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