Smorgasbord Short Stories – Shopping ….. by Sally Cronin

Shopping…. by Sally Cronin

‘Come on let’s whip into that lane over there.’

‘No, I am fine here, look the line is moving already.’

‘Are you kidding me?’ He glared at her in frustration. ‘We are going to be here till Christmas at this rate and the game starts in twenty minutes.’

She shrugged her shoulders. ‘It’s only football for goodness sake, just be patient.’

‘Patient, patient!’ Hands in pockets he made a face.

‘I came shopping with you didn’t I? He put a hand on her shoulder.

‘Come on Penny, please we only have three items and that line is much shorter.’

She shrugged his hand off and took a deep breath.

‘She doesn’t like me.’

‘Who doesn’t like you?’

‘The woman in that checkout.’

‘Excuse me!’ He looked at her in disbelief. ‘What are you talking about?’

‘I have been through that checkout several times when I was in a hurry and each time she has made rude comments.’

‘Love, you’re losing it babe, big time.’ She glared at him.

‘Okay last time I went through that checkout with a pizza and ice-cream, she said that she could see why I was fat.’

‘You must have imagined it doll.’ Laughingly he grabbed her waist fondly. ‘I love every inch of you and you are not fat just cuddly.’

‘Alright, I’ll prove it to you.’ She turned and stomped off to the now empty check-out and waved the first item, which happened to be a packet of fish fingers, under the scanner.

A slightly metallic female voice spat out of the speaker. ‘Oh my, still picking the fat options I see.’

Penny turned to her husband and gave him a glare…. ‘Well, do you believe me now?’

‘It must be a wind up… Candid Camera or one of those stupid programmes. Put another item through.’

Penny put the two other items under the scanner one by one. The voice smugly pronounced. ‘That will be four pounds and eleven pence and half a stone madam.’

Fuming Penny put her debit card into the reader and completed the transaction. She threw the offending items into her bag for life.

‘Okay Penny let me have a go.’ Her husband picked up some gum from the stand next to the checkout and passed it under the scanner.

‘Hello handsome,’ spoke a silky sexy voice. ‘What are you doing for the rest of my life?’


©sallycronin 2016

Thank you for dropping by and wave to me next time you go through the automatic checkout because I am likely to be in a queue!  Thanks Sally

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About Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.

My name is Sally Cronin and I am doing what I love.. Writing. Books, short stories, Haiku and blog posts. My previous jobs are only relevant in as much as they have gifted me with a wonderful filing cabinet of memories and experiences which are very useful when putting pen to paper. I move between non-fiction health books and posts and fairy stories, romance and humour. I love variety which is why I called my blog Smorgasbord Invitation and you will find a wide range of subjects. You can find the whole story here. Find out more at

40 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Short Stories – Shopping ….. by Sally Cronin

  1. Pingback: Smorgasbord Short Stories – Shopping ….. by Sally Cronin | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

  2. Well done! As I recall I have seen at least one other story by you that takes a similar funny yet provocative look at our digital world- it was the personal assistant in the car. Have you written other stories like this? They are so good!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Love it, Sally. I hate automated check outs and never use them. I suspect they are a ploy to cut staff numbers. I also refuse to do online banking. The banks do all they can to persuade people to use telephone and online services then use the excuse of falling footfall to close the branches.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks Shey.. I had to laugh the other day.. there were only three cashiers open all with a queue and the five auto checkouts all had one person using them but they were having problems so 3 members of staff were racing around trying to get replacement packets with barcodes, get change out… in Spain in Carrefour they shut the things down last time I was in there.. it took more manpower to guide people through the trauma! hugs xxx

      Liked by 2 people

      • My younger girl did apart time job at a supermarket and she wa son these . Apparently once someone took a scadgy and set about it. The police were fetched and they were charged YEAH! I hate it when someone comes up to you in the queue and asks if you want to use one. I aye say, ‘ Well, if I did, I’d be doing that, wouldn’t I?’ SO funny re Spain. And yeah they are traumatic x

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Brilliant story Sally and one totally out of the left field though told with your usual wit. Originally I though it was a human cashier being rude and wondered why she wasn’t complaining. So clever and unexpected that it is the automatic checkout doing it, and it bloody well knows what it is doing. Totally loved it!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Lol Sal. As much as I love shopping, I hate grocery shopping and checkout lines. I have an uncanny knack for picking out the longest lines even when they look shortest. And I can tell you I wouldn’t be taking any smack from any checkout person including an automated one, LOL. 🙂 xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    • I always seem to get behind the shopper who waits until all the groceries have been through before starting to pack.. then selecting the right bag to them to go in neatly, then they double check the receipt before paying in coppers! Forget road rage.. trollies at dawn.. and don’t mention the ones who park the trollies sideways across the aisle and proceed to have a lengthy gossip with their mate doing likewise! ♥♥

      Liked by 1 person

      • Don’t get me started Sal! Exactly my sentiments. To the point where G hates shopping with me because I don’t hold back in letting them know how rude they are when they block aisles. He hides his head or pretends he doesn’t know me if he’s forced to come with me, lol. 🙂 xx


  6. I’ll always use the auto checkout because there is a way you can mute the voice before scanning your shopping. However, there’s nothing stopping it from flashing up rude remarks (like calling me a bag) on the screen.
    Great humour, Sally.


  7. Pingback: Smorgasbord Weekly Round up – Let’s walk a marathon, Shirley Bassey, Marc Bolan and magical writers | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

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