Smorgasbord Time for Some Laffs -Things are not always what they seem…..

Things are not always what they seem……

While driving through the desert in New Mexico a woman’s car ran out of petrol. After a lengthy wait and becoming concerned that she would run out of water and never be found, she was delighted when a young Red Indian rode up on his horse. She sat behind him and was intrigued with his habit of letting a wild yell from time to time. She put it down to Indian whoops she had seen on the movies.

He dropped her off at a gas station with another ‘Ya-hoo’.

‘What was going on between you two?’ asked the gas station attendant as he prepared to drop her back to her car with a can of petrol.

‘Nothing,’ she said. ‘ I simply rode behind him with my arms around his waist holding onto the saddle horn.

‘Don’t you know that Indians ride bareback,’ he replied.

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license.
First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:

‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’

“Can you read this?” the optician asked.

“Read it?” the Polish guy replied, “I know the guy.”

An old man whose wife had recently passed away decided to place an obituary
in the local paper. He went to see the editor and was told it would cost £1 a word.
After turning out the contents of his pocket, the old man found £3 in loose change.
He wrote: “Doris Smith Dead”.

Seeing this, the editor felt so sorry for him he said; “For £3 you can have seven
words.” The old man thanked him and thought for a while.

Then he wrote: “Doris Smith Dead. Ford Focus for Sale”.

On the first night of their 
honeymoon, the husband isn’t sure how to tell his bride about his stinky feet and smelly socks, while the wife is wondering how to break the news to him about her awful breath, which so far, she’s been able to cover up. After some soul-searching, the husband gathers his nerve and says, “I have a confession.”

She draws closer, peers into his eyes, and says, “Darling, so do I.”
Recoiling, he says, “Don’t tell me—you’ve eaten my socks.”

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap.

The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs.

The old gentleman said, “Oh no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.”

The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, “It’s his turn with the teeth.”

Keep smiling and pass them on.. Thanks Sally

 

 

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About Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.

My name is Sally Cronin and I am doing what I love.. Writing. Books, short stories, Haiku and blog posts. My previous jobs are only relevant in as much as they have gifted me with a wonderful filing cabinet of memories and experiences which are very useful when putting pen to paper. I move between non-fiction health books and posts and fairy stories, romance and humour. I love variety which is why I called my blog Smorgasbord Invitation and you will find a wide range of subjects. You can find the whole story here. Find out more at https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/about-me/

30 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Time for Some Laffs -Things are not always what they seem…..

  1. Pingback: Smorgasbord Time for Some Laffs -Things are not always what they seem….. | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

  2. Pingback: Smorgasbord Weekly Round Up – Stevie Wonder, Justice ‘East End’ Style, Skin and Bones | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

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