Smorgasbord Laughter Academy – Elderly logic, dating, pack behaviour and squirrels…from Tina Frisco

As I get back into blogging mode, Tina Frisco stepped up with some more of her classic laughs for your benefit…More about Tina after the post.

I have also raided the archives and found some images that you might enjoy…

Dog Pack Attacks Gator in Florida

At times, nature can be cruel. But there also is a raw beauty, and even a certain justice, manifested within that cruelty. The alligator, one of the oldest and ultimate predators – normally considered the ‘apex predator’ – can fall victim to the canine’s survival-of-the-pack mentality, evidenced by the strategical team work of their tight-knit social structure.

See the remarkable photograph below, courtesy of Nature Magazine.

Note that the alpha dog has a muzzle hold on the gator, preventing it from breathing, while another dog has a hold on the tail to keep it from thrashing, and a third dog attacks the soft underbelly.

Warning!
This is not for the squeamish!

Touching Story of an Old Woman

This letter was sent to the Principal’s office after a school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly. One of the women had received a new radio as a door prize and was writing to say thank you.

Dear Kean Elementary:

God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizens luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Sprenger Home for the Aged. All of my family have passed away. I am all alone now, and it’s nice to know someone is thinking of me. God bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.

My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.

The other day, her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful, and she was in tears. Her distress over the broken radio touched me, and I knew this was God’s way of answering my prayers. She asked if she could listen to mine, and I told her to kiss my ass.

Thank you for that opportunity.

Sincerely,

Agnes


Squirrels vs Churches

The Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels. After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there, and they shouldn’t interfere with God’s divine will.

At the Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery. The deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. The squirrels liked the slide and knew instinctively how to swim. Twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Methodist church decided they were not in a position to harm any of God’s creatures. They humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free near the Baptist Church. Two weeks later, the squirrels returned when the Baptists took down their water slide.

The Catholic Church came up with a very creative strategy. They baptized all the squirrels and consecrated them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue. They circumcised the first squirrel and haven’t seen one since.

Dating Ads for Seniors, found in The Villages,
the Newspaper of a Florida Senior Retirement Community

FOX
Fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim, 5’4′ (used to be 5’6′), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus. —————————————————-

LONG-TERM COMMITMENT
Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, fainting, shortness of breath, not a problem. —————————————————-

SERENITY NOW
I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga, and meditation. If you are the silent type, let’s get together, take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times.
—————————————————-

WINNING SMILE
Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flosser to share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy.
—————————————————-

BEATLES OR STONES
I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let’s get together and listen to my eight-track tapes.
—————————————————-

MEMORIES
I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let’s put our two heads together.


AND FINALLY…

A lady and gentleman in The Villages are sitting on benches opposite each other.

Lady: Are you new to the community?

Gentleman: No, I have owned a condo here for 20 years.

Lady: I have been here for 15 years, and I have never seen you around.

Gentleman: I have been in prison for the last 17 years!

She was stunned but finally asked him what he had done.

Gentleman: I murdered my first wife!

She was stunned again, but after a long pause . . .

Lady: So, you’re SINGLE?

About Tina Frisco

Tina Frisco is an author, singer-songwriter, RN, activist, and student of shamanism. Born in Pennsylvania USA, she attended nursing school in New York and lives in California. She began writing as a young child and received her first guitar at age 14, which launched her passion for music and songwriting. She has performed publicly in many different venues. Her publishing history includes book reviews; essays; articles in the field of medicine; her début novel, PLATEAU; her children’s book, GABBY AND THE QUADS; and her latest novel, VAMPYRIE. She enjoys writing, reading, music, dancing, arts and crafts, exploring nature, and frequently getting lost in working crossword puzzles.

Find out more about Tina Frisco, her books and read the reviews: https://www.amazon.com/Tina-Frisco/e/B009NMOFNY

Here is how you can connect to Tina on her website and social media.

Website ~ http://tinafrisco.com
Amazon ~ http://hyperurl.co/3vme2a
Facebook ~ https://www.facebook.com/TinaFrisco.Author
Twitter ~ http://bit.ly/14VXY49
LinkedIn ~ http://linkd.in/1aAGwXl
Google+ ~ http://bit.ly/1Fc1Uzn
Goodreads ~ http://bit.ly/165vmVp

Thank you to Tina for her wonderful laffs and to you for dropping in and please feel free to share the smiles. Sally

Normal blog service will resume tomorrow.

 

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This entry was posted in humour, Smorgasbord laughter academy and tagged , by Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.. Bookmark the permalink.

About Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.

My name is Sally Cronin and I am doing what I love.. Writing. Books, short stories, Haiku and blog posts. My previous jobs are only relevant in as much as they have gifted me with a wonderful filing cabinet of memories and experiences which are very useful when putting pen to paper. I move between non-fiction health books and posts and fairy stories, romance and humour. I love variety which is why I called my blog Smorgasbord Invitation and you will find a wide range of subjects. You can find the whole story here. Find out more at https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/about-me/

35 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Academy – Elderly logic, dating, pack behaviour and squirrels…from Tina Frisco

  1. I live very close to the Villages and have been there many times. I believe every word of those ads and the conversation between the lady and the ex-con. And don’t get me started on the customized golf carts that prowl the streets! Next time, I’ll take pics. 😀 (Good ones, Tina! Thanks for sharing, Sally.)

    Liked by 1 person

I would be delighted to receive your feedback. Thanks Sally

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