‘Waiter, are you sure this lobster is fresh?’
‘Yes sir, it walked here from the beach this morning.’
The customer gave it another sniff. ‘Well I think it must have trod in something on the way.’
A travel agent looked up from his desk to notice an old lady and man peering in the shop window at the posters showing exotic locations around the world. The agent had enjoyed a very lucrative week and seeing the shabby nature of the couple looking in the window he decided to extend his luck to them.
He beckoned them into his office and sat them both down. ‘I know that it must be very difficult on a pension to spare money for a lovely holiday, so I am going to send you off to the Canary Islands for two weeks at my expense.’
He handed over two airline tickets and a voucher for a luxury room at a top resort.
About a month later the little old lady came into the travel agents to see him.
‘How did you enjoy your holiday?’ he asked.
The flight was wonderful and the room was absolutely lovely,’ she replied. ‘I have popped in to thank you. But one thing has puzzled me. Who was that old bloke I had to share the room with?’
Recommended Airline – Fly Yorkshire.
A man and his wife check into a hotel. The husband wants to have a drink at the bar, but his wife is extremely tired so she decides to go on up to their room to rest.
She lies down on the bed… just then, and elevated train passes by very close to the window and shakes the room so hard she’s thrown out of the bed. Thinking this must be a freak occurrence, she lies down once more. Again a train shakes the room so violently, she’s pitched to the floor.
Exasperated, she calls the front desk, asks for the manager. The manager says he’ll be right up. The manager is skeptical but the wife insists the story is true. “Look… lie here on the bed — you’ll be thrown right to the floor!” So he lies down next to the wife.
Just then the husband walks in. “What,” he says, “are you doing here!?!”
The manager calmly replies, “Would you believe I’m waiting for a train?”
Mary Poppins was travelling home but, due to worsening weather, she decided to stop at a hotel for the night. She approached the receptionist and asked for a room. “Certainly madam”, he replied courteously. “Is the restaurant open still?” inquired Mary. “Sorry, no”, came the reply, “but room service is available all night. Would you care to select something from this menu?”
Mary smiled and took the menu and perused it. “Hmm, I would like cauliflower cheese please”, said Mary. “Certainly, madam”, he replied. “And can I have breakfast in bed?” asked Mary politely. The receptionist nodded and smiled. “In that case, I would love a couple of poached eggs, please”, Mary mused. After confirming the order, Mary signed in and went up to her room for the night.
The night passed uneventfully and the next morning Mary came down early to check out. The same guy was still on the desk. “Morning madam…sleep well?” “Yes, thank you”, Mary replied. “Food to your liking?” “Well, I have to say the cauliflower cheese was exceptional. I don’t think I have had better. Shame about the eggs, though….they really weren’t that nice at all”, replied Mary truthfully. “Oh…well, perhaps you could contribute these thoughts to our Guest Comments Book. We are always looking to improve our service and would value your opinion”, said the receptionist.
“OK, I will…thanks!” replied Mary….who checked out and then scribbled a comment into the book. Waving, she left to continue her journey. Curious, the receptionist picked up the book to see the comment Mary had written: