Smorgasbord Laughter Academy – A Writer’s Life or Words to that effect!

A few snippets on the subject of our chosen like of work…..

Great Expectations

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.When asked to define “Great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

English Professor

“In English,” he said, “A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.” A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

And if you are looking for inspiration for your next novel’s title.

A Clifftop Tragedy  by Eileen Dover.
A Whole Lot of Cats  by Kitt N. Caboodle
Animal Scents by Farrah Mones
Cheating on His Wife by  Izzy Backyet
Confessions Of A Gold Digger by Emile Ticket
Yellow River by I.P.Daily,
Russian Lion Tamer by Claude Buttox
Carpet Laying by Walter Wall
Eating Garlic by Y.I Malone.
Pain and Sorrow by Ann Quish
The Insomniac by Eliza Wake
The Scent of a Man by Jim Nasium
Wait for me by Isa Cummin.
Willie Win by Betty Wont.

How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, but it’s actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one’s shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was blown out of existence. They co-existed in a parallel universe, though.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to screw it almost all the way in, and the other to give it a surprising twist at the end.

How many screenwriters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Why does it *have* to be changed?

How many cover blurb writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A VAST AND TEEMING HORDE STRETCHING FROM SEA TO SHINING SEA!!!!

Ode to the Spell Check

Eye halve a spelling chequer

It cam with my pea sea

It plainly marques four my revue

Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word

And weight four it two say

Weather eye am wrong oar write

It shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid

It nose bee fore two long

And eye can put the error rite

Its rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it

I am shore your pleased two no

Its letter perfect awl the weigh

My chequer tolled me sew!

 

 I cannot claim credit so thanks to all those lost souls out there who had writer’s block and felt the need to write something, anything.

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About Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.

My name is Sally Cronin and I am doing what I love.. Writing. Books, short stories, Haiku and blog posts. My previous jobs are only relevant in as much as they have gifted me with a wonderful filing cabinet of memories and experiences which are very useful when putting pen to paper. I move between non-fiction health books and posts and fairy stories, romance and humour. I love variety which is why I called my blog Smorgasbord Invitation and you will find a wide range of subjects. You can find the whole story here. Find out more at https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/about-me/

48 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Academy – A Writer’s Life or Words to that effect!

  1. Pingback: Smorgasbord Laughter Academy – A Writer’s Life or Words to that effect! | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

  2. As a therapist (early retirement) I really loved that one but also the spell check. I don’t know anyone who hasn’t had issues with spell check. My own were bad enough it resulted in a poem. Try writing all those old Court reports filled with things like amphetamines…you get the picture.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Smorgasbord Weekly Round Up – Opera, Film, Books, Humour and Authors who rock. | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

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