Smorgasbord Poetry – Time on my Own – by Sally Cronin

Life is not one never ending fairy tale. Not many people sail through their years without encountering obstacles to their happiness and most of us, being human, contribute to the problem.

I was only twenty when I fell for an older and charasmatic man. I was told I was playing with fire but knew better. Four years later the charm offensive had just turned offensive, and I left with a couple of suitcases.

At first I thought a distance of 100 miles was sufficient but a few late night calls from friends persuaded me that I needed to put even more miles behind me and I headed to  Snowdonia in Wales to work in a hotel. Forty years ago, without the Internet you could disappear quite effectively. It eventually took me three years to disentangle myself legally and my divorce was finalised on April Fools Day 1980!.

They say that our lives are mapped out for us. I find it ironic and slightly spooky that if I had not run off to Wales I would not have met David six months after my divorce.. and that would have been the bigger tragedy.

I wrote a lot of song lyrics back then (never seen the light of day). They are good old fashioned country with plenty of angst.. But those original lyrics have formed the basis for later poetry and this is a poem about what was a short but impactful period in my life.

Time on my Own

I came to these green hills in search of peace
Away from the betrayal and blame
Hoping the distance would make nightmares cease
help me banish the feelings of shame

Some told me that it was mainly my fault
That our marriage was doomed from the start
Filling my wounds with their pinches of salt
Ignorant of what caused us to part.

Some of the truths I will take to my grave
There are others I need to let go
It is frightening but I must be brave
Learn to breathe and to go with the flow

I doubt that I will completely forget
The emotional scars of those years
And my decision I do not regret
refusing to shed any more tears.

I am young and despite all this drama
I will not let its pain mar my life
I just need time to patch up my armour
And forget I was ever your wife.

Life is taking me along a new path
Winding around and not very clear
I hope to a safe place where I can laugh
Throwing away these feelings of fear.

Will I love again I really don’t know
For now I just need space of my own
But it is time to get on with the show
To stop my heart from turning to stone.

©sallycronin

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About Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.

My name is Sally Cronin and I am doing what I love.. Writing. Books, short stories, Haiku and blog posts. My previous jobs are only relevant in as much as they have gifted me with a wonderful filing cabinet of memories and experiences which are very useful when putting pen to paper. I move between non-fiction health books and posts and fairy stories, romance and humour. I love variety which is why I called my blog Smorgasbord Invitation and you will find a wide range of subjects. You can find the whole story here. Find out more at https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/about-me/

62 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Poetry – Time on my Own – by Sally Cronin

  1. Will the young ever listen or learn?..probably not…I didn’t like you and neither has one of my daughters…like me….But are we better for our experiences…I think we are, although I acknowledge some are just too much to forget but I think we learn and grow from even the most traumatic of experiences if we let ourselves. Thank you for sharing it must have been hard ..Hugs x

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is wonderful Sally. Your song is a bit long to put to music, but I am sure you can take it back a bit and repeat those lines that need to be heard the most. “Life is taking me along a new path
    Winding around and not very clear” stands out to me as the scope of the whole story.

    I think of the song where they say talk about songs that are written but never heard. I swore that wouldn’t happen to me. I hope you won’t let it happen to you!

    Here is my post on the matter along with the name of someone who can do the job (through fiverr), at a very good price.

    Here is my post on the matter, and my song! Contact me if want to pursue it further. https://inspirationimport.wordpress.com/2015/04/09/finally-lyrics-to-song-fruition/

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks Lesley.. this is actually the poem that evolved from the original song.. and hopefully over time they will all find their way either into verse or short stories. That way they will not be lost but updated with a little more life experience and hopefully a lot more wisdom.. I will head over and check out the post.. hugs xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sally, wonderful. You talk so powerfully about that bit of your life without giving everything away. And there you are meant to be where you are today. I absolutely believe in destiny and that the things we can’t see at the time, that wound and scar, will become clear. If we are good in our heart then something looks out for us xxx

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thank you Shey… What is ironic is that David and my path crossed before. He travelled down and spent the night in a local hotel and was interviewed in my father’s office..the week that I got married…. not only that the hotel he stayed in was mentioned in my divorce papers 7 years later by my former husband. talk about coincidences… xxx

      Liked by 3 people

      • Well, my Mr and my path’s once crossed at an engagement party where I was with someone else. See just goes to show. That biz of the hotel and the papers is amazing. Like a parallel universe xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

        Liked by 3 people

  4. Beautiful, Sally. I was struck by your statement that the greater tragedy would have been not meeting Dave. Sometimes the route to happiness is a crooked one indeed, and in hindsight, the painful experiences may also play a role in getting us where we want to go. ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you Diana.. I do believe in fate and tempting though it is at times to ignore that it still seems to get its way.. It happened with this house that was sold one day and after I asked about it the next day the buyers dropped out.. it was on the wrong page in the estate agents listing otherwise I would not have seen it in the first place… xxx

      Liked by 3 people

  5. Pingback: Smorgasbord Poetry – Time on my Own – by Sally Cronin | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

  6. A very emotional and lovely poem, Sally. I was asked the other day whether, if I could go back in time, I would change anything in my life. I thought about it and decided that I would not. I have, of course, made some unfortunate decisions in my life as we all do, but I believe that my mistakes have guided me to get where I am now. Sounds like your life is the same. Hugs.

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  7. You wrote the poem that poured into my heart. Your words I was reading were about a close loved one. My heart wanted to say, “How did you know?” But of course you did. Thank you for sharing this.

    Liked by 3 people

  8. I remember another lady who I grew to be very fond of getting away to a hotel and having a whale of a time… though it too a lot longer for her happy ending…. but she was just an odd job girl Great lyrics Can hear one of the female country greats belting out this torch song

    Liked by 1 person

  9. You definitley did the right thing by getting away, Sally and it led you to finding long lasting happiness. It sounds like you went through a lot of heartache at such a young age though which must have been devastating, espeically as it seems as though others didn’t realise how much you put up with.
    Hugs xxxx

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Pingback: Smorgasbord Weekly Round Up – Opera, Film, Books, Humour and Authors who rock. | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

  11. Thanks so much, Sally. You have It is a difficult balance to maintain between listening to others and not letting their advice paralyse us. Of course, we know everything when we are young. Thanks for sharing your experience and helping them be strong.

    Liked by 1 person

I would be delighted to receive your feedback. Thanks Sally

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