Smorgasbord Laughter Academy Archives – Doctors, Dentists, Driving and Double Glazing

 

A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE: “Doctor, I have an ear ache.” (This one is dear to my heart)

2000 B.C. – “Here, eat this root.”
1000 B.C. – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.”
1850 A.D. – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.”
1940 A.D. – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.”
1985 A.D. – “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”
2000 A.D. – “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!”

 

At the Dentist.

A woman and her husband interrupted their vacation to go to the dentist. “I want a tooth pulled, and I don’t want Novacaine because I’m in a big hurry,” the woman said. “Just extract the tooth as quickly as possible, and we’ll be on our way.” The dentist was quite impressed. “You’re certainly a courageous woman,” he said. “Which tooth is it?” The woman turned to her husband and said, “Show him your tooth, dear

‘Open Wider,’ requested the dentist as he began his examination.

‘Good heavens,’ he said astonished. ‘You have the biggest cavity I have ever seen – the biggest cavity I’ve ever seen.

‘Ok no need to rub it in by repeating yourself.’ said the patient. ‘I am scared enough as it is.’

‘I’m not repeating myself,’ replied the dentist. ‘That was the echo.’

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car.

Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself, “I must be losing it. I could have sworn we just went through a red light.”

After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection, and the light was red again. They went right though it. This time, the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red and was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.

At the next intersection, the light was definitely red, and sure enough, they went right through again. She turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us!” Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh my, am I driving?”

Last year, I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double pane, energy efficient kind.

But this week, I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year and I had yet to pay for them.

Boy, oh boy, did we go around!

Just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid.

So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast-talking sales guy had told me last year.
He said that in one year, the windows would pay for themselves.

There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up, and he hasn’t called back.
Guess he was embarrassed.

Thanks for dropping by and if you have a joke that you would like to share with full credit, then please email me sally.cronin@moyhill.com thanks Sally

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About Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.

My name is Sally Cronin and I am doing what I love.. Writing. Books, short stories, Haiku and blog posts. My previous jobs are only relevant in as much as they have gifted me with a wonderful filing cabinet of memories and experiences which are very useful when putting pen to paper. I move between non-fiction health books and posts and fairy stories, romance and humour. I love variety which is why I called my blog Smorgasbord Invitation and you will find a wide range of subjects. You can find the whole story here. Find out more at https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/about-me/

20 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Academy Archives – Doctors, Dentists, Driving and Double Glazing

  1. Pingback: Smorgasbord Laughter Academy Archives – Doctors, Dentists, Driving and Double Glazing | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

  2. Pingback: Smorgasbord Weekly Round Up – FREE book, Invitation to a Party and brilliant writers. | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

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