Smorgasbord Christmas Posts from Your Archives – Twas the night before Christmas, with presents to wrap by Judy E. Martin

Delighted to share a post from the archive of Judy E. Martin which is perfect for Christmas Eve…as is her chosen track.. by Boney M… Mary’s Boy Child..

Stephanie from ‘Once Upon your Prime ‘ did a fantastic spoof on ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas’ which you can read HERE. I was so impressed with her version, and I wanted to have a go at this myself.

Every year I have to read it every night in December to my daughter. we take it in turns to read a verse out each, and we both love it. I have not gone with a theme as Stephanie has, just given it a bit of jiggery-pokery here and there to give my take on it!! Hope you enjoy…

Twas the night before Christmas, with presents to wrap by Judy Martin

‘Twas the night before Christmas, with presents to wrap

The turkey still thawing, no time for a nap!

The stocking was dragged out from last year

We’re hoping and praying St Nick will appear!

Miss Hap was all nestled snugly in bed

With iPhones and Converses going around in her head

Mr Grump, me and Roxy at last went to bed

To get ourselves rested for the big day ahead!

When out on the square there arose such a row

I awoke to see what was happening now!

I looked out the window and saw a large crowd

“Bugger off home!”. I shouted out loud.

The moon was hidden by a cloudy grey sky

But I thought I saw something out the corner of me eye.

Eight lively reindeer so happy and bright

Were guiding a sleigh through the darkness of night.

With a little old driver so chubby and cute

Who appeared to be wearing a red and white suit!

His reindeer were racing enjoying the game

He wanted attention so called them by name.

Now Dasher, now Dancer now Prancer and Vixen

On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen

Head for the roof! Head for the trees!

Now hurry up, hurry up, hurry up please!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly

Are swirling around in the wintery sky

This little old man with his sleigh full of toys

Was ready to reward the good girls and boys.

And then in a twinkling I heard on the roof

The clanking and banging of their bloody great hooves!

The next thing I knew, I heard a loud ‘BOOM’

And St Nicholas had landed in my front room!

He was dressed all in fur from his head to his toes

And I couldn’t help smiling at his odd-looking clothes

He had a large sack that was filled to the top

He looked like a man who had just robbed a shop!

His eyes how they twinkled in spite of his years

His nose was all rosy – and so were his ears!

His mouth was formed into a huge cheesy grin

He appeared as if he’d been hitting the gin!

The butt off a cig was clenched in his lips

And his belt was a little sung round his hips.

The size of his tummy was really quite shocking

And it swayed side to side as if it were rocking!

He was jolly and plump a right happy old thing

And I was excited to see what gift he would bring

He looked at his sack and gave me a smile

And added a parcel to Miss Hap’s huge pile!

He spoke not a word but kept filling her stocking

Then gave me a look that was kind of mocking

And then in an instant he was no longer there

He appeared to have vanished into the night air.

He sprang to his sleigh as night became dawn

And then he was off. It was now Christmas Morn

But I heard him call out as he opened a beer

“Merry Christmas to all, and a Happy New Year!”

If  you would like to hear Judy perform the poem..

Judy has chosen Boney M as her Christmas music… and a huge thank you for her contribution.

©Judy E. Martin 2014

About Judy E. Martin

Hello, and thanks for stopping by. I am Judy,in my (very) early fifties and decided that life definitely gets more interesting as it goes on! I am a wife and a mum and have just gone back to University to train as a Registered Nurse, after having worked as an Associate Practitioner in the NHS. I am also a poet and the author of my debut book, ‘Rhymes of the Times.’ I love to laugh, and I love rhyming words too, so I joined the two together and my book was born. I am currently working on another book in the series too. I am a prolific blogger and enjoy writing funny stories, anecdotes, and anything really that takes my fancy.

Rhymes of the Times by Judy E. Martin.

About the collection

Are you one of those people that barge through life, trying to get through it as best as you can, swimming against the everyday worries and stresses of life? Well, I have found a way to make it much more enjoyable.

Don’t you think everything sounds better when it rhymes? I certainly do. In fact, I have found that everything from doing the housework to growing older, can sound more positive and less daunting when made into a little ditty.

This book is about finding the humour, or raising a smile from the everyday things that we can all relate to in life, and looking at them from a different perspective. Nothing escapes versification; there is even a subject on sex! After all, that is one subject where there is plenty of room for laughter, even if it may not be the right moment!

One of the recent reviews for the collection

A most amusing read By Robbie Cheadle on October 14, 2017

I love Judy E Martin’s poetry. It is so enjoyable and humorous. Judy has a delightful way of turning everyday situations into a real laugh. Her book of poetry is divided into ten chapters, as follows: Family, Festive, Seasons, Women, Ages, Music, Food, Creativity, Miscellaneous and Sex. This book fairly pulses with vitality and enthusiasm for life and I really look forward to reading a few of her uplifting verses at the end of a hard working day.

One of my absolute favourite poems is Ode to Cadbury’s and my favourite verse is as follows:

“They have moved across the water
To give their sales a Boost
But the chocolate’s taste is different
And the bar size is reduced.”

What absolute fun!

Read the reviews and buy the book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Judy-E-Martin/e/B01CPOB0M0

And Amazon US: https://www.amazon.com/Rhymes-Times-lighthearted-through-Rhythm-ebook/dp/B01CLXLPMU

Read reviews and follow Judy on Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/15085538.Judy_E_Martin

Connect to Judy

Website/blog: https://www.judyedwinamartin.com/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/JudyEMartin
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JudyEMartinAuthorandRhymester

A very Happy Christmas from both of us..