Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Men vs. Women in the happiness stakes and Marriage.

WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED

Men are just happier people, right? What do you expect from such simple creatures?

Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental $100.
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes – one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes.

Is it any wonder men are happier!

NICKNAMES: If Laura, Kate, and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate, and Sarah.·If Mike, Dave, and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba, and Wildman.

EATING OUT: When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY: A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, towel. The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS: A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE: A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE: A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL: Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

Of course this is all meant in good fun……. if you enjoyed please pass it along.. thanks Sally

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About Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.

My name is Sally Cronin and I am doing what I love.. Writing. Books, short stories, Haiku and blog posts. My previous jobs are only relevant in as much as they have gifted me with a wonderful filing cabinet of memories and experiences which are very useful when putting pen to paper. I move between non-fiction health books and posts and fairy stories, romance and humour. I love variety which is why I called my blog Smorgasbord Invitation and you will find a wide range of subjects. You can find the whole story here. Find out more at https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/about-me/

36 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Men vs. Women in the happiness stakes and Marriage.

  1. Pingback: Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Men vs. Women in the happiness stakes and Marriage. | Dragons Rule OK.

  2. Jesus Christ Sally I had forgotten how good it is to be a man. You’re right the world is my urinal! Thanks for the reminder. I will now love you forever! PXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (see told you) Right what’s next?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Men are happier people … read on! – Cecily's Writings

  4. Pingback: Smorgasbord Weekly Round Up – Johnny Mathis, Fish & Chips with Coffee, Cafe and Bookstore Spring Showcase and Boxing Cats. | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

  5. Oh, Sal, I loved these! I laughed out loud all by myself alone in the house. My guffaws echoed throughout the house. I will share these with John when he gets home. Somehow I don’t think he will appreciate them as much as I do! Thanks for sharing! I feel great after that chuckle! hugs xx

    Liked by 1 person

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