Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Pearly Gate dilemmas, Finding the F’s and Passwords

Count the number of F’s in the following text:

FINISHED FILES ARE THE
RESULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC
STUDY COMBINED WITH THE
EXPERIENCE OF YEARS

Managed it? OK? How many? Three?

Check at the end of the post!

Three old ladies are sitting around a table playing and boasting about their sons.

‘My Jack,’ said Lily, is such a wonderful boy, each week he visits me for two hours and brings me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates.  Once a month he takes me out to a restaurant for Sunday lunch and anything I need, I just have to mention it and it is there.

‘Well’, said Mary a little tartly. ‘My Angus lives with me and every morning brings up a tray to my room with a fully cooked breakfast and a pot of tea with a white rose in a bud vase. He comes home from work every day to make me soup and a sandwich and then in the evening we watch television with a wonderful supper he has prepared’.

Molly held up her hand and smiled smugly at her friends. ‘I don’t want to take away from your love for your sons and what they do for you but I think that my son Michael is the king of sons. Three times a week he pays someone £150 an hour just so he can lie on their couch and talk to them about me.. and only me!’

Passwords

While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi.
“It’s taped under the modem,” 
I told him.

After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, “Am I spelling this right? T-A-P-E-D-U-N-D-E-R-T-H-E-M-O-D-E-M?”

 

First Aid Course

At the weekly meeting of the Women’s Institute, one of the members was enthusing about the recent First Aid course she had attended. ‘It was a lucky thing that I went on that course,’ she said. ‘I was coming down the Hight Street yesterday when I heard a big crash behind me. I looked round and there was this poor chap who had been knocked down by a taxi. He was covered in blood, and he looked to have a broken and a compound fracture of the leg – an possibly a fractured skull. And then I remembered what I had learned on my First Aid course. So I bent over and put my head between my knees to stop myself from fainting.’

Answer to the Quick Eye Exam. – There are six – no joke! Read again!

Thanks for dropping in and I hope that you have enjoyed the laughter….Sally

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21 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Pearly Gate dilemmas, Finding the F’s and Passwords

  1. Pingback: Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – The Militant Negro™

  2. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – #Music, Nessie, #Thai Curry Pastes, New Books, #Reviews, #Health and #Humour | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

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