Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Out of the mouths of Babes.

I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold. -Gregory, Age 5

Everybody’s got it all wrong. Angels don’t wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it. -Olive, Age 9

It’s not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to Heaven. And then there’s still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes. -Matthew, Age 9

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else. -Mitchell, Age 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he’s not much good for science. -Henry, Age 8

Angels don’t eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows. -Jack, Age 6

Angels talk all the way while they’re flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead. -Daniel, Age 9

When an angel gets mad, she takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when she lets out her breath again, somewhere there’s a tornado. -Reagan, Age 10

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter. -Sara, Age 6

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his Son, who’s a very good carpenter. -Jared, Age 8

All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses, and boys didn’t go for it. -Antonio, Age 9

My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth. -Ashley, Age 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don’t make the animals get better, they help the child get over it. – Vicki, Age 8

What I don’t get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them. -Sarah, Age 7

A mother was telling her little girl what her own childhood was like: “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said, “I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”

A mother and her young son returned from the grocery store and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. “What are you doing?” his mother asked. “The box says you can’t eat them if the seal is broken,” the boy explained. “I’m looking for the seal.”

A number of primary schools were doing a project on ‘The Sea.’ Children were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the ‘better’ ones:

Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea because I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher age 7)

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

Oysters’ balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don’t have sea all around you, you are incontinent. (Wayne age 7)

I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend no more. (Kyle age 6)

A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8 )

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

 

My thanks to Tina Frisco for unearthing some of these wonderful witticisms from the younger generation on the subject of angels.

Tina Frisco, Buy; https://www.amazon.com/Tina-Frisco/e/B009NMOFNY
Website: https://tinafrisco.com/

A recent review for Vampyrie

A page-turner that grabs the reader By John Maberry on February 25, 2018

A very different storyline in the vampire genre.Different, in a densely populated genre, is a good thing. But that’s not the main draw of this telling. It’s well-written and keeps you turning virtual pages. The characters are well-developed and believable. I knew I’d like it after the first few paragraphs. If you like a combination of horror, suspense and thriller, you’ll like this one. It even has a surprise twist that I didn’t see coming. I’m big on twists myself.

Hope you have enjoyed and please feel free to pass on the smiles… and if you have jokes you would like to share.. with a mention then email me on sally.cronin@moyhill.com

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