Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Strange things happen in Bars and snippets!

A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up stretches and pulls out a gun shooting everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopaedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads “Panda: Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.”!

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, “Where is everybody?” The bartender replied, “They’ve gone to the hanging.” “Hanging? Who are they hanging?” “Brown Paper Pete,” the bartender replied.
“What kind of a name is that?” the cowboy asked. “Well,” said the bartender, “he wears a brown paper hat, brown paper shirt, brown paper trousers and brown paper shoes.”
“Weird guy,” said the cowboy. “What are they hanging him for?”

“Rustling,” said the bartender

This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he can show him something unbelievable, he gets a free beer? The bartender says alright. So the man puts a hamster and two frogs on the bar and all of a sudden the two frogs jump up and start into a Broadway medley. Well, a man at the end of the bar said, “That’s amazing; I’ll give you $1,000 for the frogs.” The man agreed the guy took off. The bartender said to him, “You could have gotten more for the frogs.” The man said, “Frogs are easy to come by, the hamster’s a ventriloquist.”

An elderly lady was driving home from shopping on the motor way when her mobile phone rang, being hands free she answered it to find her husband on the other end. “Doris, I have just heard on the news that there is a maniac travelling at 50 miles an hour on the wrong side of the road. Please be careful”

“Are you kidding, It’s not just one car it’s hundreds!”

A 97 year old man goes into his doctor’s office.

“Doc, I want my sex drive lowered.”

“Sir”, replied the doctor, “You’re 97. Don’t you think you’re ‘sex drive’ is
all in your head?”

“You’re damned right it is!” replied the old man. “That’s why I want it
lowered!”

Thanks for dropping in and I hope you leave with a smile on your face..  Sally

15 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Strange things happen in Bars and snippets!

  1. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up -Summer Jazz, Photoshop, Moreish Mince and Interviews, Music, Health and Humour | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

I would be delighted to receive your feedback (by commenting, you agree to Wordpress collecting your name, email address and URL) Thanks Sally

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.