Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – English like what it is spoke!

You often hear people say that they could never learn a foreign language… but the English Language is one of the most difficult to get to grips with.. it sometimes has no rhyme or reason.

Some reasons why foreigners find English confusing.

We polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
A farm can produce produce.
The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse.
The soldier decided to desert in the desert.
The present is a good time to present the present.
At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum.
The dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance for the invalid was invalid.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number.
I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes.
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt.

And some interesting Anagrams

Dormitory – Dirty Room

Desperation – A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code – Here Come Dots

Slot Machines – Cash Lost in ’em

Animosity – Is No Amity

Snooze Alarms – Alas! No More Z’s

Alec Guinness – Genuine Class

Semolina – Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries – Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point – I’m a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes – That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two – Twelve plus one

Contradiction – Accord not in it

And a real corker: [From Hamlet by Shakespeare]

To be or not to be: that is the question, whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

Becomes:

In one of the Bard’s best-thought-of tragedies, our insistent hero, Hamlet, queries on two fronts about how life turns rotten.

And the grand finale:

“That’s one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind.” — Neil A. Armstrong

becomes:

A thin man ran; makes a large stride; left planet, pins flag on moon! On to Mars!

I hope that you have enjoyed today’s linguistics…. please feel free to pass them on…Sally.

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25 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – English like what it is spoke!

  1. As an English and linguistics major as an undergrad and a literature major in graduate school, I loved this. However, the thought that really tickled my fancy was, how would I ever deal with this as a volunteer teaching 15 Hispanics and 2 Russians basic English speaking, reading, and writing? LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  2. As I work with my seven-year-old granddaughter with her spelling words, it is very obvious how hard the English language is with SO many words that sound alike but are spelled differently. This week’s list had ‘toe’ and ‘tow’ on it. The only way to distinguish them for her is to use them in a sentence. Great post, Sally. Entertaining, too. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Weekly Round Up – Book Launch, Fats Waller, Royalty and #Halloween recipes plus the usual #stars | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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