Debby Gies has been scouring the Internet for some funnies to share with you as my guest… D.G. Kaye Writer Blog and I have been delving into the archives for a quickie or two…..
Thanks again Debby you are hired for the seaon…..
And a joke from my archives…especially for those who are scared of flying……
After every flight, pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
- P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
- S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
- P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
- S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
- P: Something loose in cockpit.
- S: Something tightened in cockpit.
- P: Dead bugs on windshield.
- S: Live bugs on back-order.
- P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
- S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
- P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
- S: Evidence removed.
- P: #2 Propeller seeping prop fluid
- S: #2 Propeller seepage normal – #1 #3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage
- P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
- S: DME volume set to more believable level.
- P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick
- S: That’s what they’re for
- P: IFF inoperative.
- S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
- P: Suspected crack in windshield.
- S: Suspect you’re right.
- P: Number 3 engine missing.
- S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
- P: Aircraft handles funny.
- S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
- P: Target radar hums.
- S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyric
- P: Mouse in cockpit.
- S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last.
- P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
- S: Took hammer away from midget.
Thank you for dropping in today and if you have enjoyed please pass on the laughter. Thanks Sally