As always Paul Andruss heeds the call for a guest post for special occasions by producing an entertaining and in this case emotionally charged piece.. get your tissues at the ready.
My Favourite Christmas Gift Ever by Paul Andruss
When I was a youngster my dad was a merchant seaman. He travelled all over the world on everything from cargo steamers to luxury liners. This led to a bit of a falling out with a new neighbour. Seeing two kids, and no man around, the woman asked, ‘So, what does your husband do?’
“He works for Cunard,” said Mum brightly.
‘My husband works quite hard too!’ the woman answered stiffly.
Actually that is not true.
The true story is even more hilarious.
I went to a catholic junior school run by the Christian Brothers. Every month we’d to buy a magazine called The Crusade Messenger, which was full of stories, articles and jokes. The Cunard Joke was in that.
Aged 8, none of the class understood the joke. For some reason the teachers could not explain why it was funny either. It puzzled me for years, until the penny dropped at the age of 11.
That was not my best Christmas present ever.
As I said my dad was a merchant seaman. While his ship was in Spain, Dad was told to paint the forecastle, or whatever the big bit at the front with the steering wheel is called. I am not nautically minded. He was sitting on a plank, suspended between two ropes about 50 feet in the air, when a freak gust of wind sent him tumbling. He landed flat on his back on the deck.
He was lucky. He could have died. Instead he landed on crates and injured his back. At first, they thought he would not pull through. Then, he would never walk again. I was about 9. That would make Mum and Dad about 32.
Dad was in hospital for six months. In those days international travel was a luxury. Mum never got to see him. Nor, as we had no telephone, speak. She must have been out of her mind. Despite this, she kept it together and protected us kids from what was going on.
I knew dad was in an accident; fell off while painting the ship. I thought he was painting the side and hit the sea. Talking to him, years later, he told me it was just as well he hadn’t. From that height, hitting the sea like he did would have killed him stone dead. One of the things he did say was the nuns in white running the hospital fed him oranges, and beef from the bulls slaughtered in the bullring next door. I thought it very glamorous.
It was a couple of weeks before Christmas when Mum heard Dad was coming home. The shipping company not only paid for an airline ticket, but also for a return trip between Liverpool and Manchester Airport by taxi, to pick him up. At the time a 40 mile one-way taxi ride would have cost a week’s wages.
I didn’t know what was going on, except it was exciting and confusing. Actually, the long taxi rides through the night were exciting for the first 10 minutes, then uncomfortably dull. I could not understand why Mum had to stop herself crying all the time.
As a kid you accept things. Growing up I came to realise how different our lives would have been if mum was a widow with three young kids.
Best Christmas Present ever?
That’s a no-brainer.
Getting your dad back from the dead (without using the Monkey’s Paw).
©Paul Andruss 2018
About Paul Andruss
Paul Andruss is a writer whose primary focus is to take a subject, research every element thoroughly and then bring the pieces back together in a unique and thought provoking way. His desire to understand the origins of man, history, religion, politics and the minds of legends who rocked the world is inspiring. He does not hesitate to question, refute or make you rethink your own belief system and his work is always interesting and entertaining. Whilst is reluctant to talk about his own achievements he offers a warm and generous support and friendship to those he comes into contact with.
Paul Andruss is the author of 2 contrasting fantasy novels
Thomas the Rhymer – a magical fantasy for ages 11 to adult about a boy attempting to save fairy Thomas the Rhymer, while trying to rescue his brother from a selfish fairy queen
When Fairy Queen Sylvie snatches his brother, schoolboy Jack is plunged into a sinister fantasy world of illusion and deception – the realm of telepathic fairies ruled by spoilt, arrogant fairy queens.
Haunted by nightmares about his brother and pursued by a mysterious tramp (only seen by Jack and his friends) Jack fears he too will be stolen away.
The tramp is Thomas the Rhymer, who only speaks in rhyme. Lost and frightened Thomas needs Jack’s help to find his way home.
The race is on for Jack and his friends to save Thomas from the wicked Agnes Day (who wants to treat Thomas like a lab rat). And save Jack’s brother from Sylvie.
To do this they need the help of Bess – the most ancient powerful fairy queen in the land.
But there is a problem…
No one knows where Bess is… or even if she is still lives.
And even if they find her… will she let them go?
The latest review for the book
I stumbled across this book one day while reading a historical piece written by the author. He had included an image of this book cover at the bottom of his article which immediately drew my attention. This author often writes long historical dissertations so I wasn’t sure what to expect. I took a chance and purchased the Kindle edition. What a delightful surprise! I couldn’t put the book down!
What I found was a fantastic story about one of my favorite subjects, faeries! Not only was it geared to the YA genre, but it also included a fair amount of historical fact to make the story shine.
When Jack’s older brother Dan is abducted before his very eyes, he is stunned by the mysterious circumstances of his disappearance. The fact that Jack witnessed the strange abduction and doesn’t tell his parents only adds to his troubles. Jack’s mother is suffering from a chronic illness and his greatest hope is that the situation will rectify itself, and Dan will come home on his own.
One night, Jack starts receiving cell phone calls from Dan, and when he answers, there’s no one on the line. He tries to tell his parents and the police the truth about what happened, but every time he opens his mouth to speak, his throat closes up and he is unable to utter a single word. Faery glamours? Could be!
In the meantime, Jack starts seeing a dirty tramp hanging around his house who only speaks in rhyme. It becomes apparent that no one can see the tramp but Jack, so he enlists the help of his friends to help him solve the mystery behind his brother’s disappearance.
Jack and his friends are thrust into the magical world of the fey where the kids experience the light and the dark, of a failing faery kingdom. They learn about ley lines and how the fey evolved beside mankind. The story progresses with plenty of magic and suspense until you reach the satisfying end.
Let me just say, that this is one of the most creative books I have ever read about the fey. Jack’s friends are reminiscent of the characters in the Harry Potter series and I had no problem connecting with their personalities. The plot is brilliant, although I had a hard time separating fact from fiction. That’s what I call good writing!
I enjoyed this novel and will read it more than once. I feel children and adults of all ages will enjoy this book. Do you love magic and all things faery? Then, have a read because this book is reasonably priced and will keep you entertained for hours.
MY RATING: Character Believability: 5 Flow and Pace: 5 Reader Engagement: 5
Reader Enrichment: 5 Reader Enjoyment: 5 Overall Rate: 5 out of 5 Stars
Read the reviews and buy the book: https://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Rhymer-Jack-Hughes-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00EPQL7KC
And Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Thomas-Rhymer-Jack-Hughes-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00EPQL7KC
Find out more and buy the book: https://www.amazon.com/Finn-Mac-Cool-Paul-Andruss-ebook/dp/B018OJZ9KY
and Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Finn-Mac-Cool-Paul-Andruss-ebook/dp/B018OJZ9KY
Connect to Paul on social media.
Blog: http://www.paul-andruss.com/
Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/paul.andruss.9
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Paul_JHBooks
Google+ https://plus.google.com/s/+jackhughesbooks
I am sure that you have enjoyed Paul’s post as much as I have and please feel free to share.. Thanks Sally
What a wonderful story, Paul. I’m glad I heeded your advice to have tissues at the ready, Sally.
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Thanks Mary. Pxx
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This was a super story, Sally. Thank you, Paul, for sharing.
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Thank you John….hugsxx
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Thank’s John. Glad you enjoyed it. Paul
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A lovely story, Paul and Sally. A great Christmas gift indeed.
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I agree Robbie…hugsxx
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Thanks Robbie, Love PaulX
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I wonderful story, Paul. I love the Cunard joke as well. Merry Christmas!!
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Thank you Darlene… glad you enjoyed the Cunard Joke.. hugsx
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And thanks to you for finding the original version fo the joke Sally pxx
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All part of the service Paul. xxxxx
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I shared it at the Christmas party last night. xo
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Brilliant Darlene… hugs xxx
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Thanks Darlene. I still chuckle of thinking of a load of 8 year old Catholic boys scratching their heads over ‘my husband works for Cunard’. The teachers must have been wetting themselves in the staff room! Pxx
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What a story, Paul. I can’t imagine being separated from my husband or dad for six months with no contact and very little idea of what was going on. And a wonderful ending. I can understand why it was such a wonderful Christmas. And thanks, Sally, for sharing Colleen’s wonderful review of Thomas the Rhymer. 🙂
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Thank you Diana… it is a great book and I thoroughly enjoyed it… hugsx
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And thanks to you Sally (and Colleen ) for putting the wonderful review in and of course Sally for your wonderful review….All on the website Jackhughesbooks.com. Pxx
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Thanks Diana, love Paul xx
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A great Christmas story, Sally! Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks Jan..hugsx
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Thanks Jan glad you enjoyed it. Pxx
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What a wonderful heartfelt and always entertaining post Paul. No worries, I always have a few tissues nearby when I drop by Sal’s blog, lol. 😉 ❤
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Thanks Debby.. they were needed for this one… ♥
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Of course! ❤
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Thanks Debby, glad you liked it. Pxx
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❤
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Reblogged this on Where Genres Collide.
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Thank you very much for sharing Traci…hugsx
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You’re welcome, Sally! Hugs back!
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Thanks Traci, appreciated PXX
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You’re welcome, Paul!
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XXX to both of you Px
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That must have been a very special Christmas indeed Paul. It must have been a very tough six months for everyone.
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Thanks Brigid.. hugsx
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It sounds terrible Brigid but I don’t really remember the christmas. I think it came early that year. As an adult thinking of the worry my mum went through is quite overwhelming especially i nthe light of the fact that here younger sister’s husband dies about 3 years later aged early thirties and co-incidentially leaving his wife with 3 children… one a new born. Again it is only as you get older you appreciate how you life has been blessed in so many ways. Pxx
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Tough times all round Paul. We are indeed blessed. x
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I was scratching my head like an 11-year old I am not good at getting jokes( it takes me a while) lol …I am pleased you got your Happy Christmas, Paul definitely a tear jerker 🙂 xx
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Don’t worry Carol you won’t the only one.. how do you think I found the joke!!!! ♥
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I am really bad at getting jokes like that…I just laugh it off now…Glad your in my club though, Sally 🙂 xxx
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Hi Carol the cunard joke… Well Think of the words Fork-King-Hard. I think one of the reasons we did not get the joke was because we were so young we simply did not appreciate smut (that is round about 11 that kicks in with lads) was also in Liverpool most people pronounced KUN-ARD as QUEUE-NARD. And saying my husband works for Queue-nard simply isn’t funny at all. It was just a statement. Love pxx
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Thank you, Paul I did work it out eventually…Slow on the uptake having always had to pronounce everything so correctly I suppose it doesn’t lend itself to all jokes…lol..I am often just laughing and don’t know why…haha…My other half who comes from East London is always making fun of me … 🙂 xxx
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Best Christmas gift since the original. Thanks, Paul and Sally.
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Thanks Amy.. hugsx
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Thanks Amy, that lovely. Pxx
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Wow! I got goosebumps reading this Christmas tale, Paul. Isn’t it interesting to remember how we lived without phones, computers, etc.? Thank goodness your father survived. Great tale. ❤
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Thanks Colleen. a brilliant post..hugsx
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I agree. There’s very little of what he writes that I don’t enjoy.
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Thanks Colleen. We are probably the last generation who remember a pre-phone pre-computer world. I remember getting my first walkman at the age of 20…. if you say that to kids thesedays they will say… WHAT’s A WALKMAN?
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And thank you for that very sweet comment.. And by the way WHATCH MEAN THERE’S BITS YOU DON’T LIKE !!! (Just kidding) Pxx
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LOL! I didn’t have a color TV until 1983, and I’m not that old. I lived in the UK from 1980-1983 and remember how different it was from America. I totally know what you mean. LOL! 😳
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Paul never fails to entertain. I love his stories.
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I agree Linda..hugsx
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