Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye with more Christmas funnies and a joke or two from the archives

Debby Gies has been out and about on the Internet for some funnies to share with you as my guest… D.G. Kaye Writer Blog and I have been delving into my archives for a festive joke or two…..

Thanks again Debby you are booked for the pantomime too…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
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Now for those jokes from the archives…..

Choosing the perfect gift…..

After being away on business for a week before Christmas, Tom thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

“How about some perfume?” he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.

“That’s a bit much,” said Tom, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.

“That’s still quite a bit,” Tom groused.

Growing disgusted, the clerk brought out a tiny $15 bottle.

Tom grew agitated, “What I mean,” he said, “is I’d like to see something real cheap.”

So the clerk handed him a mirror.

The difference between and optimist and a pessimist……

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and gloom pessimist.

Just to see what would happen, on Christmas day their father loaded the pessimist’s room with every imaginable toy and game.

The optimist’s room he loaded with horse manure.

That night the father passed by the pessimist’s room and found him sitting amid his new gifts crying bitterly.

“Why are you crying?” the father asked.

“Because my friends will be jealous, I’ll have to read all these instructions before I can do anything with this stuff, I’ll constantly need batteries, and my toys will eventually get broken.” answered the pessimist twin.

Passing the optimist twin’s room, the father found him dancing for joy in the pile of manure.

“What are you so happy about?” he asked.

To which his optimist twin replied, “There’s got to be a pony in here somewhere!”

Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you leave with a smile on your face… please feel free to share… thanks Sally and Debby.