Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye and jokes from the archives

Debby Gies is still on vacation in sunny Mexico, but she is keen that you should not be lacking in funnies whilst she is away, so she has forwarded a batch to me to share with you. ..D.G. Kaye Writer Blog is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

And I have been rifling through the archives to find some jokes to share..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.comGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Now time for some quickies from my archives

On an old maid’s tombstone:
‘Who said you can’t take it with you?’

*****

My wife does bird imitations: She watches me like a hawk.

*****

What’s the difference between a canary with two wings and a canary with one?
A difference of a pinion.

*****

Man cannot live on bread alone… He needs a bit of crumpet!

*****

Acupuncture fees in China are so cheap it is called pin money.

*****

In court last week a clairvoyant sued for divorce on the grounds of her husband’s adultery next week.

*****

‘Have you ever been cross-examined before?
‘Yes your honour, I’m a married man.

*****

‘Guilty. Ten days or two hundred dollars.’
‘I’ll take the two hundred dollars, thanks Judge.’

*****

Did you hear about the butcher’s boy who sat on the bacon slicer?
He got a little behind in his deliveries.

*****

‘Knock, knock.’
‘Who’s there?’
‘A little old lady.’
‘A little lady who?’
‘I didn’t know you could yodel.’

*****

Whisky is a wonderful drink. It makes you see double and feel single.

*****

The Bridegrooms mother arrived at the reception and looked amazing. Her husband was delighted by the attention. ‘You look stunning,’ he smiled. You should always leave your bra at home.

She blushed. ‘How did you know?’

‘Because you have lost all the wrinkles from your face!’

*****

Thank you for dropping by today and to Debby Gies for her dedication….. we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Sally

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32 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye and jokes from the archives

  1. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – Good music, food, books, humour and great guests. | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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