Now for a couple of jokes from the archives
Never underestimate the power of polo mints.
The trainer was giving last minute instructions to the jockey and appeared to slip something in the horse’s mouth just as a steward passed by.
‘What was that?’ inquired the steward.
‘Oh, nothing,’ said the trainer, ‘just a polo mint.’ He offered one to the steward. ‘Here, have one. And I’ll have one myself.’
After the suspicious steward had left the scene the trainer continued with his riding instructions. ‘Just keep the horse on the rails. You are on a certainty. The only thing that could possibly pass you down the straight is either the steward or me.’
and Opera for peanuts
A man went into a bar and said to the bartender, “If you give me free drinks all night, I will entertain your customers so much they will stay all night and drink lots and lots.”
“Oh yes,” says the bartender. “How are you going to do that?” The man gets a hamster out of his pocket and puts it on the piano. The hamster runs up and down the keyboard playing the greatest piano music anyone had ever heard.
“That’s incredible!” says the bartender. “Have you got anything else?”
The man gets a parrot out of his other pocket and puts it on the bar. The hamster begins to play the piano again and the parrot sings along – sounding just like Pavarotti. Everyone in the bar is amazed and stayed all night drinking and listening to the hamster and parrot.
The bartender is delighted.“I must have these animals. Will you sell them to me?” he asks.
The man shook his head no. “Will you sell just one then?” asks the bartender.
“OK, I’ll sell you the parrot for $100” the man says.
The bartender is delighted and hands over the money.
Another man standing next to the man who owned the hamster said, “You’re a bit stupid selling that clever parrot for only $100”. “No I’m not,” the man replied. “The hamster is a ventriloquist”!!!
I hope that you are leaving with a smile on your face….and please pass it along.. thanks Sally