Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye and a joke from my archives

Debby Gies is back from her two month trip to Mexico and my thanks to her for forwarding funnies whilst sitting in the sunshine… here are some more that she has come across.. ..D.G. Kaye Writer Blog is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

That last one struck a little close to home! Thanks Debby for another great selection…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.com Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Now time for a joke from my archives……

A truly Happy Person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour, and one who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries! There are some fascinating things on old tombstones . . .

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York Born 1903–Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland cemetery: Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only the good die young.

In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon him for not rising.

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays The Kid, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw.

A lawyer’s epitaph in England: Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.

John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont: Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there’s only the pod, Pease shelled out and went to God.

In a cemetery in England: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you, I’ll not consent, Until I know which way you went.

I hope you have enjoyed this journey to the darkside…. feel free to pass it on.. Thanks Sally

13 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Guest Comedian D.G. Kaye and a joke from my archives

  1. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – The Weekly Round Up – Social Media Shenanigans, Spring Flowers, Mexican Getaways, Italian Food, music, humour and Fabulous Guests | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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