Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – The benefits of getting older.. hang on a minute I’m still looking!

And now some one liners from the archives, because any longer than one line and I forget the punchline……..

Some one liners…

• Two aerials meet on a roof – fall in love – get married. The ceremony was rubbish – but the reception was brilliant.
• Doc, I can’t stop singing the ‘Green Green Grass of Home’. He said: ‘That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome’. ‘Is it common?’I asked. ‘It’s not unusual’ he replied.
• I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
• A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says: ”Pint please, and one for the road.”
• I went to the doctors the other day and I said, ‘Have you got anything for wind?’ So he gave me a kite.
• My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.
• I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah; I thought, ”He’s trying to pull a fast one”.
• I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.
• A jump-lead walks into a bar. The barman says ”I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything”
• Slept like a log last night…….. Woke up in the fireplace.
• A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, ”Is this some kind of joke?”
• A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says ”Sorry we don’t serve food in here”

Thanks for dropping in and I hope you are leaving with some laughter lines to add to the rest…….Sally.

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