Welcome to the series of Posts from Your Archives, where bloggers put their trust in me. In this series, I dive into a blogger’s archives and select four posts to share here to my audience. The next guest in the series has shared post on the blog before, but of course this time I get to do the choosing. In the final post from L.T. Garvin for this series, I have selected this on some of the excuses given and also predicaments some crazy criminals get themselves into.
Crazy Criminals (2015) by L.T. Garvin
What happens when your subwoofer cable goes out? I’m not sure but a certain sulky 17-year-old boy will be happy to tell you after his mother “forgot” to order it on Ebay. What? I was distracted by a furry pink Cossack hat.
A bum subwoofer cable that no longer woofs is not nearly as bad as the guy who heard a noise in his driveway and went out to find that thieves had tried to break in and steal his entire woofing assembly. Somehow one of the would-be thieves ran around the back of the house and climbed through the window. After calling the police, the Almost Ripped Off and Sound Deprived victim went back inside only to discover that he might not be alone… He found the hapless criminal hiding in a closet and eating individual cereal packets….something like, Dude, is this ALL the cereal you have?
The irritated homeowner detained the cereal munching thief (possibly by tying him up with a non-working woofer cable)…or not, they didn’t say.
This entire incident might not be as bad as the weirdo in New York State who was night plowing. Apparently, this guy had trouble sleeping. He was arrested for using excavating equipment to dig a 40 foot-long by 12 foot-deep hole in rural countryside during the middle of the night. Somebody call ID TV…or maybe he was just dillusional.
Then there are the normal traffic violations. One guy was ticketed when he blamed “owl watching” for causing a car accident while a teenager was arrested for stealing a car when he paused to take a “singing selfie video” instead of driving right out of there.
My advice to anyone who absolutely must steal a car is: a) pick not only one that will start, but pick a fast one b) do not loiter c) make sure the subwoofer is woofing and there are no owls in the neighborhood.
Lastly on this list of stupid criminals, there was another man who was arrested for using his “big belly” to “bounce” an annoying neighbor from his yard. Oh yes, it’s a crazy world out there.
©L.T. Garvin 2015
About L.T. Garvin
L.T. Garvin is a huge fiction fan and literature lover. She enjoys writing fiction, short stories, and attempts at poetry. L.T. has a particular fondness for Southern literature possibly because they have such good food and bigger than life stories in the South.
She currently has three books available, Confessions of a 4th Grade Athlete, a humorous children’s book about a boy named Nathan and his exuberant experiences in school and sports. Another children’s book, Animals Galore explores unique animals and their antics. A novel, Dancing with the Sandman, is suitable for all age groups and takes readers on time travel journey back to the 1960s. L.T. Garvin maintains a WordPress site where she shares fiction, poetry, and humorous essays
Books by L.T. Garvin
About Dancing with the Sandman
The Sandman cometh dancing to the beat of rock ‘n’ roll, blasting the turmoil of the Sixties. And where are you? West Texas, of course. Billie Jo Dunstan confronts her past, traveling back to the 1960s through a decade of turbulence and swirling color memories, contemplating life growing up in rural Texas. Tragedy and comedy come alive, preserving the past and a portion of small town life that will survive beyond super highways and the ratcheting progress of time.
Garvin’s (And They Came, 2017, etc.) latest novel offers a reflection of one girl’s coming-of-age in small-town Texas in the 1960s. … Garvin is at her best when offering these cheeky nods to the past, never getting bogged down in nostalgia.
A winning narrator enlivens a charming tale of a town facing modernity.–Kirkus Reviews
One of the reviews for the book
The story starts and ends in west Texas as Billie Jo revisits the small town she grew up in, a town left behind years ago when progress, in the form of a new highway, raced ahead. It’s a place that holds memories so tangible they feel like ghosts rising out of the sand, and they create the substance of the story.
Garvin calls the book a fictional journey, but it reads like a memoir. If you were a kid in the 60’s, this book will feel something like a trip into childhood, a time before helicopter parents and iphones, a time when kids had to create their own fun while learning the painful lessons of life.
Though the book takes place in Texas, there is so much about Billie Jo’s experiences that felt familiar to me, a child of rural Connecticut. In a way, the qualities that make up a childhood – the way adults are perceived, the family quirks, sibling teasing, unexpected kindnesses and losses, how kids think and fill their leisure time – seemed universal. This is a thoroughly relatable book.
And told as a “look back at the ghosts of the past,” the book has a nostalgic aura that lingered beyond the last page, calling forth my own ghosts and eliciting memories that I’d forgotten. Dancing with the Sandman is a lovely, poignant, rich read for all ages, but especially for those who enjoy memoirs and those who were children in the 60’s.
Read the reviews and buy the book: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07DP2VJ8S
Also by L.T. Garvin
Read the reviews and buy the books: https://www.amazon.com/L.-T.-Garvin/e/B00HC0TRY6
And on Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/L.-T.-Garvin/e/B00HC0TRY6
Read other reviews and follow L.T. Garvin on Goodreads:
Connect to L.T. Garvin
My thanks to Lana for allowing me to share from her archives and I hope you will head over to enjoy exploring more. Sally.