Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Comedian in Residence D.G. Kaye and a Joke or two from Sally.

First Debby Gies shares some of the funnies this week that she feels you should not miss.. ..D.G. Kaye Writer Blog is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby for spotting these.. and please give her a round of applause.

D. G. Kaye – Buy: http://www.amazon.com/D.G.-Kaye/e/B00HE028FO
Blog: http://www.dgkayewriter.com Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Catch up with Debby’s Travel Column here every month: https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/the-travel-column-with-d-g-kaye/

And now a joke or two from my archives

Rest in peace

The family hamster passed away and its five year old owner insisted on giving it a decent burial in the back garden. He invited all his friends from school and conducted the service himself. His parents standing behind their son in support were impressed with his grasp of the format followed at funerals. They then heard the final words being uttered. ‘In the name of the father, and of the Son, and into the hole he goes’.

Graveyard Humour

A truly Happy Person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour, and one who can enjoy browsing old cemeteries! There are some fascinating things on old tombstones . . .

Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York Born 1903–Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland cemetery: Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.

On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only the good die young.

In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon him for not rising.

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays The Kid, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw.

A lawyer’s epitaph in England: Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.

John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont: Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there’s only the pod, Pease shelled out and went to God.

Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Debby and Sally.

35 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Comedian in Residence D.G. Kaye and a Joke or two from Sally.

  1. I really love these, Sally. Especially the hamster funeral. I remember as a child singing The hymn Gentle Jesus, meek and mild. It went:
    Gentle Jesus, meek and mild,
    Look upon a little child.
    Pity my simplicity,
    Suffer me to come to thee.

    I thought the third line was Pity mice in Plicity. I always wondered where Plicity was, and why it was bad for mice.

    Liked by 2 people

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