Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Comedian in Residence D.G. Kaye and a joke from Sally’s Archives

First Debby Gies shares some of the funnies that she has spotted that she thinks you would enjoy…..D.G. Kaye Writer Blog is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

We have had the Thanksgiving Turkey jokes…now it is time for the Christmas Turkey jokes…as well as some other funny bits and pieces…..

My thanks to Debby for spotting these.. and please give her a round of applause.

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USBlog: D.G. Writes Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Catch up with Debby’s Travel Column here every month: The Travel Column with D.G. Kaye

Now time for a joke from my archives…. and please drink responsibly!!!

Besht Cishmash Reshippy.

  • 1 Cup butter
  • 1 Cup Sugar
  • 4 large eggs
  • 1 Cup dried fruit
  • 1 Teaspoon baking powder
  • 1 Teaspoon baking soda
  • 1 Tablespoon Lemon Juice
  • 1 Cup brown sugar
  • 1 Cup nuts
  • 1 or 2 quarts of aged whisky

Before you begin, sample the whisky to check for quality. Good isn’t it?

Select a large mixing bowl and a measuring cup. Check the whisky again as it must be just right. To be absolutely sure, pour a large glass and drink as fast as you can.

Repeat

With an electric mixer, beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar and beat the hell out of it again. Meanwhile at this parsnicular point in time, wake sure that the whixy hasn’t gone bad while you weren’t looking. Open second quart if nestessazy.

Add 2 large leggs, 2 cups of fried druit and beat until high, If druit gest shtuck in peaters, just pry the monsters loosh with a drewscriver.

Example the whiksty again, shecking confistancy, then shitf 2 cups of salt or destergent or whatever, like anyone gifts a shplit.

Chample the whitchey shum more.

Shitfin shum lemon zhoosh. Fold in chopped sputter and shrained nusts. Add 100 babblspoons of brown booger or whushever’s closhest and mix well. Greash ubben and turn the caky tin to 350 decrees. Now pour the whole mesh into the washing machine and set on sinch shycle.

Cheque dat whixney wunsh more and pash out.

Do not try this at home…..thanks for dropping in and hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. thanks Debby and Sally.

 

27 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Comedian in Residence D.G. Kaye and a joke from Sally’s Archives

  1. More laughter, Debby and Sally.Thank you. I’m due a laugh or two. I noticed by a bank statement that my pension wasn’t being paid here, so phoned the Pension office in the UK.” Didn’t you receive the ‘Life Affirmation’ letter and fill it in?”.”‘No!” I replied. “We sent you another in April.” Didn’t receive that either…SO, THEY KILLED ME OFF AND STOPPED MY PENSION, ASSUMING I HAD KICKED THE BUCKET. HONESTLY I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT!! Oh, yes the UK is going to run beautifully when the Tories return to power. Ha ha. PS My husband-who is four years older than moi, didn’t even receive one Life Affirmation letter ?! You couldn’t make it up. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up 8th -14th December – Make a Wish, Choirs, Cranberries, A-Z Christmas and Cheesy funnies! | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

I would be delighted to receive your feedback (by commenting, you agree to Wordpress collecting your name, email address and URL) Thanks Sally

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.