Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – Comedian in Residence D.G. Kaye and some new material from Sally.

Firstly, with the results for some days sleuthing on the Internet some funnies from Debby Gies . 

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK    Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord –  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realm of Relationships

And time for some new material from Sally…..who has also been out foraging

The stress test

A business man enters a pub, sits at the bar, and orders a double whisky on the rocks. After he finishes his drink, he checks inside his shirt pocket then asks the barman for another double whisky. After he finishes that he checks inside his shirt pocket again before ordering another drink.

The bartender says, ‘Look buddy, I’ll pour you whisky all night long, but you gotta tell me why you keep looking inside your shirt pocket all the time.’

The customer replies, ‘I’m peeking at a photo of my wife and when she starts to look good then I know it’s time to go home.’

*****

Are you ready to have children?

The Mess Test

Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave there all summer.

The Toy Test

Obtain a 55 gallon box of lego (or marbles). Have a friend spread the contents throughout the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream as it might wake a child if at night!

The Grocery Store Test.

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you to the supermarket. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

The Dressing Test

Obtain one large, live, unhappy octopus. Stuff into a small net bag, making sure all its arms stay inside.

Thank you for dropping by today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…thanks Debby and Sally.