Firstly, with the results for some days sleuthing on the Internet some funnies from Debby Gies .
D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.
Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..
D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads
Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord – D.G. Kaye Explores the Realm of Relationships
And time for some new material from Sally…..who has also been out foraging
The stress test
A business man enters a pub, sits at the bar, and orders a double whisky on the rocks. After he finishes his drink, he checks inside his shirt pocket then asks the barman for another double whisky. After he finishes that he checks inside his shirt pocket again before ordering another drink.
The bartender says, ‘Look buddy, I’ll pour you whisky all night long, but you gotta tell me why you keep looking inside your shirt pocket all the time.’
The customer replies, ‘I’m peeking at a photo of my wife and when she starts to look good then I know it’s time to go home.’
*****
Are you ready to have children?
The Mess Test
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls. Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave there all summer.
The Toy Test
Obtain a 55 gallon box of lego (or marbles). Have a friend spread the contents throughout the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream as it might wake a child if at night!
The Grocery Store Test.
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you to the supermarket. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.
The Dressing Test
Obtain one large, live, unhappy octopus. Stuff into a small net bag, making sure all its arms stay inside.
Thank you for dropping by today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…thanks Debby and Sally.
Muito bem, Donzelas de Mirth. Eu vou deixar você descobrir a linguagem de hoje. Eu te darei. uma dica. A garota de Ipanema pode ter falado esse idioma.
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Português adorável, país adorável e nós visitamos deles da Espanha. Grande peixe salgado e pessoas amigáveis. Que bom que você gostou John e abraços
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Eu nunca estive lá. Aceito sua palavra pela bondade do peixe salgado e pela simpatia do povo. Eu gosto de um bom porto de vez em quando.
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Eu concordo com você no porto … adorável com um pedaço de queijo envelhecido .. abraços
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Como um cheddar de Wisconsin ou Nova York. Yum 😁
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bueno…xx
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Ame aquelas tortas portuguesas do creme! Ei, eu pensei que estávamos falando islandês? ri muito ❤
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As coisas andam rápido por aqui, com John no comando, pelo menos esse foi mais perto do espanhol, graças ao islandês … ♥
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Você quer dizer aquele que é alto, bronzeado, jovem e adorável? ri muito
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Essa é a mesma coisa, Debby. Então você entendeu a dica e aqui estamos no Brasil. Aqui tem uma caipirinha.
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Thank you Ladies much needed 💜
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Glad you enjoyed Willow .hugs ♥
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I really did 💜
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Happy to create smiles Willow ❤
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Thank you so much 💜
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❤
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Very funny, ladies! Thank you. xx
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Thanks Joy..and your tea post is being enjoyed that I shared here yesterday… ♥ https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/2020/03/25/everything-stops-for-tea/
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Given the current shortage of toilet paper, I was a little worried where that newspaper/iPad story was going… 🙂
got a laugh out of the stress test.
thanks as always!
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Yes flies might be safer in the short term as people conserve alternative supplies…glad you enjoyed Jim.. hugs
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LOL Jim
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I like your punchline much better; the one I was thinking of was not a pretty one 🙂
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Great ones, ladies! Thanks for the grins!
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Glad you enjoyed Jan..hugsx
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Anyone who is worried about toilet paper shortage should watch “The Demolition Man” and try to figure out how to use the three shells.
P.S. We have unlimited supply of shells, if anyone needs them.
P.P.S. Thank you for the chuckles, Debby and Sally!
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Wow…that must be tricky.. Carol Taylor has a bum cannon in Thailand seems like there is a beach theme going on here!!! thanks Dolly..♥
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Bum cannon?!!! That’s even better than the three shells!
Be well and stay safe, dear Sally!
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You too Dolly…♥
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LOL Dolly!!! 🙂
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Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
Get your chuckles going, with Debby & Sally 👍😂
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Thanks for sharing Chris..hugs ♥
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Welcome Sally 🤗❤️🤗
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LOL Sal, loved your jokes. Gotta say, the husband checking the photo cracked me up! ❤
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Poor guy… thanks again for the funnies.. those birds were hilarious..♥
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Lolllllllllll ❤
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♥
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Reblogged this on blogging807.
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Thank you for sharing Rae.. stay safe.
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Hilarious ones all, too hard to pick a favorite!
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Great thanks Liz hugsx
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:-)) Fantastic! Thank you for the laughter.
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