Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – And Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp

Author Daniel Kemp keeps us entertained daily on Facebook with his witty jokes and funny images.. by popular request he has agreed to do another open mic night for us here today…

And a joke or two….

Yesterday Paddy Murphy and his wife, a middle-aged couple, went for a stroll in Phoenix Park, in Dublin. They sat down on a bench to rest. After a few minutes, they overheard voices coming from a secluded spot behind the bushes & Mrs. Murphy realised that a young man was about to propose.

Not wanting to appear to be eavesdropping at such an intimate moment, she nudged her husband & whispered, “Go on, Paddy, whistle & let that young man know that someone can hear him.”

Murphy stammered, “Wh. .wh .whistle?. .. Wh.wh.why should I whistle? . . . Sure, nobody whistled to warn me !!” ….

Be careful what you say in public.

A young Minister about to deliver his first sermon asked the advice of a retired minister on how to capture the congregation’s attention.

“Start with an opening line that’s certain to grab them,” the old Minister told him.

“For example: ‘Some of the best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman.'”

He smiled at the young Ministers shocked look before adding, “She was my mother.”

The next Sunday the Minister nervously clutched the pulpit rail before the congregation and stated, “Some of the best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman.”

He was pleased with the instant reaction, then panic-stricken.

“But for the life of me, I can’t remember who she was!”

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

A selection of books by Danny

An extract from a recent review for A Covenant of Spies

billierosie 5.0 out of 5 stars An erudite, complex tale. A covenant of Spies  Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 16 April 2020

Daniel Kemp’s latest book ‘A Covenant of Spies’ is everything that I have come to expect from him; an erudite, complex tale, that is so well developed, he, quite seriously, makes me wonder if he really does know something that the rest of us can only imagine.

Just in case you’re not familiar with Daniel Kemp’s work…He writes political thrillers and A Covenant of Spies is the fourth book in his ‘Lies and Consequences’ series. His books are beautifully researched and crafted into stories navigating the world of his protagonist Patrick West. It’s a device that not only introduces the reader to the murky world of lies and spies, it also delineates the passing of time in, what to the reader, becomes a strange unfamiliar and alien place in the 20th and early 21st centuries.

The narrative is driven by dialogue between Fraser Ughert and Patrick West. Despite having known each other for many years, and on occasions worked together, there are vast areas of the Secret Services about which West knows little. Ughert is advanced in his years and he tells tales of the Cold War, spies busy with subterfuge, spies who were up to their necks in events that could shift the balance, the potential disaster of a war on humanity. We are dazzled by the sheer amount of spies of all nationalities; this book really demonstrates that there really is A Covenant of Spies.

But come on, this is fiction, isn’t it? Really? Well think again…

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK

And : Amazon US

Read more reviews and follow Daniel on : Goodreads

Connect to Daniel

Website: Author Danny Kemp
Facebook: Books by Daniel
Twitter: @danielkemp6

My thanks to Danny for letting me share his funnies…have a good weekend and thanks for dropping in..Sally

31 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – And Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp

  1. I was laughing as I read them, Sally, and as I fell over yesterday bruising my ribs in the process I could have done without it. But thank you Sally—– You didn’t know—: 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  2. A big hearty thank you to all of you who enjoyed the laughter on Sally’s blog. I’m delighted to be featured and I’m more delighted to find others who like to laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Weekly Round Up – 17th – 23rd May 2020 – Rainbow Fairies, Sound of Music, Books, Guests and Funnies | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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