Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – Really Bad Dad Jokes – Part One and a few funnies.

My husband David found some really bad Dad’s Jokes and thought you might enjoy… no groaning please… there are hundreds so here is part one….

My thanks to Malcolm  Allen from Australia for his contribution.

Why is it always COLD in stadiums
Because they’re full of fans!
===
My wife saw an ANT pick up a LEAF five times its weight and said, “Can you imagine being that strong?”
So I picked up the leaf and said “Yes.”
===
How many tickles does it take to make an OCTOPUS laugh
Ten-tickles.
===

You know what the LOUDEST pet you can get is
A trumpet.
===
What do you get when you cross a SNOWMAN with a VAMPIRE
Frostbite.
===
What did the BUFFALO say to his SON when he dropped him off at school
“Bison.”
===

Why did the SCARECROW win an award
Because he was outstanding in his field!
===
I remember when the SHOVEL was invented.
It was truly a groundbreaking creation.
===
Two GOLDFISH are in a TANK. One says to the other
“Do you know how to drive this thing?”
===

What do you call an alligator in a VEST
An investigator!
===
I used to have a job COLLECTING LEAVES.
I was raking it in.
===
Why couldn’t you hear the PTERODACTYL go to the bathroom
Because the P is silent!

Why do bees HUM
Because they don’t know the words!
===

I named my dogs ROLEX and TIMEX.
They’re my watch dogs!
===
What’s the difference between a HIPPO and a ZIPPO
One’s really heavy while the other one is a little lighter.
===
What do you call a pony with a SORE THROAT
A little hoarse.

Thanks for dropping in today and beware there will be more bad Dad’s jokes in a couple of weeks.. thanks Sally.

 

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About Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.

My name is Sally Cronin and I am doing what I love.. Writing. Books, short stories, Haiku and blog posts. My previous jobs are only relevant in as much as they have gifted me with a wonderful filing cabinet of memories and experiences which are very useful when putting pen to paper. I move between non-fiction health books and posts and fairy stories, romance and humour. I love variety which is why I called my blog Smorgasbord Invitation and you will find a wide range of subjects. You can find the whole story here. Find out more at https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/about-me/

17 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – Really Bad Dad Jokes – Part One and a few funnies.

  1. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Weekly Round Up – 24th – 30th May 2020 – ABBA, Jelly Beans, San Francisco, Resilience and Laughter | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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