Author Daniel Kemp keeps us entertained daily on Facebook with his witty jokes and funny images.. by popular request he has agreed to do another open mic night for us here today
And to round off Danny’s performance …. a few of jokes.
My 85-year-old grandfather was rushed to the hospital with a possible concussion.
The doctor asked him a series of questions:
“Do you know where you are?”
“I’m at Rex Hospital.”
“What city are you in?” “Raleigh.”
“Do you know who I am?”
“Dr. Hamilton.” My grandfather then turned to the nurse and said, “I hope he doesn’t ask me any more questions.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because all of those answers were on his badge.”
I was in my local when the barmaid asked me “why don’t I ever see you drinking with Phil anymore?”
I answered, “Would you drink with a man who lies to you, borrows money and doesn’t return it, never buys you a drink, cheats at pool, and tries it on with your wife?”
“No I wouldn’t,” she said.
“Neither will Phil,” I answered.
Two wives chatting in office:
Wife 1: I had a fine evening, how was yours?
Wife 2: It was a disaster. My husband came home, ate his dinner in 3 mins & fell asleep in 2 mins. How was yours?
Wife 1: Oh mine was amazing! My husband came home and took me out for a romantic dinner. After dinner, we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house. It was like a fairy tale!
At the same time, their husbands are talking at work…
Husband 1: How was your evening?
Husband 2: Great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate & fell asleep. What about you?
Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there’s no dinner, they cut the electricity because I forgot to pay the bill; so I took her out for dinner which was so expensive that it left me with no money for a cab or auto. We walked home which took an hour & when we got home I remembered there was no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house!!!
MORAL: PRESENTATION DOES MATTER… NO MATTER WHAT THE REALITY IS!
Dedicated to All married couples.
About Daniel Kemp
Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?
In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.
Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.
He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.
A selection of books by Danny
A recent review for A Covenant of Spies on Goodreads
Daniel Kemp’s A Covenant Of Spies deals with British Intelligence investigating Russian operative.
I enjoyed the clever, complex tale featuring a net of lies and political cover-ups that made me think twice about the daily news headlines.
An entertaining story of 21st century spies and tales of the Cold War sprinkled with clues till the end, it reminded me of “Bridge of Spies”.
Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK
And : Amazon US
Read more reviews and follow Daniel on : Goodreads
Connect to Daniel
My thanks to Danny for letting me share his funnies…have a good weekend and thanks for dropping in..Sally