Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – August 7th 2020 – Funnies and Bad Dad Jokes Host Sally Cronin

A delve into the archives tonight with some funnies and a few jokes to ease you into the weekend.. I hope you enjoy.

And now time for some more Bad Dad Jokes.. please award groans in the comments…but do not throw anything…thank you Sally.

Why did the COFFEE file a police report
It got mugged.

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CASHIER: “Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?”
DAD: “No thank you, just leave it in the carton!”

===

Where can I go to learn HOW TO MAKE ice cream
Sundae school.

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Did you hear about the guy who invented LIFESAVERS
They say he made a mint.

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I’ve been telling everyone about the benefits of eating DRIED GRAPES.
I’m all about raisin awareness!

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What did the GRAPE do when he got stepped on
He let out a little wine.

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Want to hear a joke about PIZZA
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

===

What do you call a bear with NO TEETH
A gummy bear.

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WAITER: “Do you wanna box for your LEFTOVERS?”
DAD: “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them!”

===

Some guy just hit me in the face with a CHEESE WHEEL.
How dairy.

===

I was thinking of going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts!

===

My wife and I were arguing as to who gets to use the MICROWAVE first.
Then things started to get heated.

===
Did you hear the joke about the BUTTER
I’d better not tell you; it might spread.

===

SERVER: “And how did you find your steak this evening?”
CUSTOMER: “Oh, it was easy; I just looked under the parsley.”

===
What did AUNT JEMIMA say when she ran out of PANCAKES
“How waffle.”

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“You have a ‘dad bod!’”
DAD: “I like to think of it more as a father figure.”

===
It’s HARD TO SAY what my wife does for a living.
She sells seashells by the seashore.

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What do you call a HIPPIE’S wife
Mississippi.

===

I swapped our bed for a TRAMPOLINE.
My wife hit the roof.

I hope this has brightened your day….thanks for dropping by … Sally.

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About Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life.

My name is Sally Cronin and I am doing what I love.. Writing. Books, short stories, Haiku and blog posts. My previous jobs are only relevant in as much as they have gifted me with a wonderful filing cabinet of memories and experiences which are very useful when putting pen to paper. I move between non-fiction health books and posts and fairy stories, romance and humour. I love variety which is why I called my blog Smorgasbord Invitation and you will find a wide range of subjects. You can find the whole story here. Find out more at https://smorgasbordinvitation.wordpress.com/about-me/

59 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – August 7th 2020 – Funnies and Bad Dad Jokes Host Sally Cronin

  1. Okay, first, lol, my favorite meme is the ‘run for politics’, and chuckled at all the dad jokes. Second, I’d like to say this edition was all Sally. But I’m flattered that some no longer separate us. LOL ❤ oxox

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – 2nd – 8th August 2020 – Music, Octopus and Oysters, Dog Stories, Waterford, Book Reviews, Children’s books and funnies. | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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