Welcome to my August edition of Realms of Relationships. Today I’m going to talk about our intuition, how to trust it, and how to sharpen our own intuitive skills.
Intuition
What is intuition? There are a plethora of descriptions and explanations for intuition. But the basic mechanics of how it works is with our natural instinctual reaction – memories usually trigger something from a past lesson, which the mind often overlooks. In the same way we know when there’s danger around, intuition or our 6th sense, is automatically activated within us.
The term ‘gut instinct’ is often associated with intuition. But did you know there is a physical connection between the brain and the gut? This is no myth. Deep within the tissue of our guts is what’s called the enteric system. There is a scientific explanation for the correlation of things we feel internally, which are connected from the brain to the gut. When my intuition is trying to get my attention, it feels like an intestinal tug in the stomach is how I explain it. Thus, the said correlation between the brain and the intestines is a sign for me.
We’ve all had that ‘familiar’ feeling, often labeled as a déjà vu moment when our instincts pick up on a remembered moment from the past – which doesn’t necessarily mean the triggered sense of familiarity occurred in our present life, but perhaps from a past life? Déjà vu translates to ‘already seen’ from French. It’s a common term we all use when we come upon a moment that feels so familiar, having us feeling as though we’ve already been in or experienced that precise moment, quite possibly from another place and time, as it’s an inexplicable feeling without an exact recollection of where the experience was first felt.
Intuition is often referred to as ‘non-conscious emotional information’. Einstein had referred to it as a gift. It’s a sense of knowing without a rational and sometimes inexplicable fact. Many say that only psychics and mediums are guided by intuition, but intuition is a culmination of all things we’ve learned in our experiences that are stored in the archives of our minds, which quite possibly become the catalyst for our heightened alert system, ignited by a situation that feels remembered. Material retained is deeply buried within us, although we’re unaware of the influence the sum of our memories have on us.
“Intuition is the voice of spirit within you.” – Morgan Llewllyn
It’s a delicate art to be able to home into and trust our intuition, sometimes with all the outside noise and confusion leaving us feeling conflicted with deciding between what our inner voice is telling us, and our self-doubting egos that can tend to get in the way.
“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honours the servant and has forgotten the gift.” — Albert Einstein
Is our intuition learned or acquired, or are we born with it? The difference between rationalization and intuition becomes a quandary, leaving us having to decide if what we’re feeling is a sign to move forward, or leaving us to doubt our inner instincts.
This video below, helps to explain:
Everyday things we make decisions about are initiated by intuition, whether or not we follow through with the pushes from the universe depends on our own self-trust.
Signs that our intuition is trying to tell us something may not be a tug in our gut, but quite possibly whispers to self, and by synchronicities in our daily lives (when signs keep appearing in attempts to guide us). Premonitions and dreams may also portend messages about decisions that are weighing on us.
Example: It’s sunny outside, but we take an umbrella because we have a feeling it’s going to rain, despite what the weatherman says, because we have a hunch it may rain, as opposed to the cautious person who will take that umbrella just in case, without intuition being the motivator, just caution.
Our world is complicated and noisy, and if we were to listen to our inner guidance, solely, without the influences of our own ego getting in the way, we’d be on our way to getting in touch with our intuition. Remember, when we are faced with making a decision and our gut sends us a message and we in turn begin to question what we are feeling, bringing in doubt and fear and questioning our own inner guidance, we are bringing ego into the equation, which will sabotage the whole point of following our initial instincts.
Dr. Judith Orloff says in her book, “A highly developed intuition is a “secret weapon”, Guide to Intuitive Healing, on intuition says: “It gives you all kinds of information you wouldn’t normally have. This isn’t the brain analyzing; this is nonlinear knowledge. It’s a second kind of intelligence. You want to use both.” Dr. Orloff adds that anyone can learn to fine-tune their intuition, adding that many of our intuitive messages are stored in the right side of our brains.
If you’d like to hone in on learning to understand and trusting your intuition, these steps will help:
• Listen to your gut without the outside noise and ego and pay attention to your gut reaction because of the neurotransmitters linked between the gut and brain. For example: If someone is telling you a story, or trying to entice you into doing something and you get a twisted knotty feeling in the gut, pay heed and take a timeout to feel out the situation, as opposed to jumping in because it sounds tempting.
• Keep track of your energy levels – feelings and synchronicities. This goes back to an earlier post I wrote on Energy Sucking Vampires, if you are constantly feeling drained or uncomfortable around someone, that is intuition informing you with a physical message to exit the situation.
• Pay attention to those insightful flashes that come to you – An idea out of the blue, a person that pops into your head that can help you with a nagging problem or even a positive project. Write down the ideas, and get in touch with that person.
• Meditation can help to calm the noise in our mind and eliminate the thoughts from ego. We only need to take a few minutes by ourselves to mediate and un-cloud our brain. Meditating is like doing the dishes, clearing them out of the sink, only we’re clearing our heads so we can easier receive and become more in-tune with what self, not ego is telling us.
Do you trust your own intuition? Do you have something to share here where you know your intuition has guided you to making a good decision?
©D.G.Kaye 2020
Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.
D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.
When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.
I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.
Quotes:
“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”
“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return. Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”
When I’m not writing, I’m reading or quite possibly looking after some mundane thing in life. It’s also possible I may be on a secret getaway trip, as that is my passion—traveling.
Books by D.G. Kaye
One of the recent reviews for Conflicted Hearts
In her book Conflicted Hearts, Kaye recounted her vivid memories of painful experience growing up with a narcissist mother whose interest was partying, smoking, gambling and getting male’s attention to herself. Her mother threw out her father frequently and had male companions in the house with the children’s presence. Kaye’s father returned home long enough to make babies but had no guarantee to stay. She felt sad for her father. She couldn’t concentrate at school. Instead, she expected the disappearance of her father or anger from her mother. She did not receive the nurturing needed for a happy childhood. Instead of being a child, she felt responsible and be the parent to her father. Later, she found out that the paternal grandparents didn’t like her because her mother was pregnant with her and caused her parents’ marriage. She felt it was her fault, and that she was the reason for her father to marry her mother. She considered herself as the black sheep, the accident. If her father married someone else, he would have been happier. Her mother was never home and had babysitter watching the four children until Kaye was twelve and became a babysitter.
Aunty Sherry was the only adult to show her guidance, concern and attention. Sherry got married in her forties and didn’t have children.
Kaye moved to an apartment at age eighteen. She went to university part-time studying classical music and singing, but never made it. She then supported herself by working in the Casinos dealing cards. During those years, Kaye had relationships with married men. Eventually she married a loving, thoughtful husband. Eventually she got married to a love and caring husband.
As a mother and a grandmother, I couldn’t imagine such a person as Kaye’s self-centered mother. I felt horrified when Kaye’s baby brother wandered off a mile away while the mother was asleep late in the morning recovering from the late-night party. Children are the ones who suffer the most in a dysfunctional home. Kaye’s parents had problems with their marriage, yet four babies were brought into the world. I feel that Kaye’s mother had sex for pleasure and didn’t understand the consequence. Kaye should never feel responsible for causing the parents to get married. Regardless, Kaye became a sensitive person and led a happy life.
Read all the reviews and buy the books: Amazon US – and: Amazon UK – More reviews and follow Debby: Goodreads
Connect to Debby Gies
Blog: D.G. Kaye Writer – About me: D.G. Kaye –
Twitter: @pokercubster – Linkedin: D.G. Kaye
Facebook: D.G. Kaye – Instagram: D.G. Kaye – Pinterest: D.G. Kaye
My thanks to Debby for taking on the challenge this year of exploring the complexity of relationships, and sharing strategies to improve the way we manage those important to us. As always your feedback is very welcome. Thanks Sally
Hi Debby and Sally, This is such an insightful article. I’ve always focused on “thinking” to lead me, and I’m just starting to understand that I should have focused on listening to my instincts and emotions. This has so many tips to help me do that. Toni x
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Great to hear thanks Toni and I think we all feel that way about decisions we have made in our lives ♥
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Hi Toni. I am very happy to learn that my post helped you think about getting more in touch with your inner guidance. Keep track! 🙂 xx
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Hi Debbie and Sally, I have been practicing this ever since I can remember, except back then I didn’t know the connection between brain and stomach. I just knew that if I felt something in my stomach it was the right feeling.
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Such an important skill when navigating this world of ours.. thanks Valentina..hugsx
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I totally agree, Sally.
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Hi Valentina. That’s amazing, so you too can also feel ‘the tug’. This tells me your intuition is turned on! 🙂 x
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I can feel it big time, Debbie.
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You are on the mark my friend 😉 x
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You two are truly special people. I am lucky to know both of you.
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Thank you Cindy and where would we be without your wonderful images in our lives ♥
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HI Cindy. And I’m sure I can speak for Sally too when it comes to saying the same for you. Hugs ❤
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Great post. I’m a big fan of Myers Briggs, and identify as an INFJ type. I’m all about my intuition, introversion, and keeping myself away from Energy Sucking Vampires!! Human behaviour is such a fascinating subject!
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Thanks Jessica…humans in general never cease to amaze me in good ways and bad.. x
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Me too. Nothing more fun that ‘people watching’ at the airport 😉
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Usually looking lost and bewildered…as I do these days…xx
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Hi Jessica. Yes, you said it – human behavior is fascinating. And that’s fantastic. I too am a fan of Myers Briggs! It seems you are already familiar with the subject of intution. Good for you! 🙂 x
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I got suckered in when I studied Psychology at university. Been a studen of human behaviour ever since 🙂
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Lol 🙂
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Intuition is an interesting concept. I’m not sure what I believe, although I think trusting your instincts is relatively reliable. I wonder how much of that is based on prior experiences and what is truly an unexplainable feeling. I’ve certainly heard stories that are hard to explain in terms of logic. I think people remember all the times they’ve suddenly had a premonition where something came true. (i.e., I knew my aunt was dying) I wonder what percentage of the time these intuitions turn out not to be false.
We’ve all probably gotten an impression about someone that turned out not to be false once we got to know the person better. In those cases, has our intuition let us down? Something else to think about.
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Thanks Pete, and encouraging discussion and thought is omething Debby’s posts are very good at. x
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Sometimes it is difficult to explain in terms of logic Pete, because if we don’t understand the scientific connection, we may only understand by familiarity. And in the case of thinking we knew someone, when perhaps we do not, it’s quite possible ego got in the way when making decisions. 🙂
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I can see where Pete is coming from. It is difficult to tell intuition apart from other things (negative thoughts sometimes, as when you’re convinced something might happen or you might do something wrong, and it ends up becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy because you get anxious and lose your concentration, for example), and although I’ve always thought I am a fair judge of people and tend to go with my gut feeling, I’ve been wrong more than once. I agree that when we know and are attuned to people and situations, we might pick up clues and vibes we are not fully conscious of. It all depends on how high the stakes are, as we cannot always follow our intuition. Learning to understand our thought processes and our gut instincts is great advice. Thanks so much, Debby and Sally, for another thoughtful post.
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Thanks for adding your experience and thoughts Olga.. we are complex beings and fascinating to discover what instincts have survived over the thousands of years..xx
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Thanks for chiming in Olga. And I will point out, like I did with Pete, that when we get anxious and lose concentraion, intuition is obstructed by ego while trying to figure the logic. Intuition doesn’t always have a logic, so overthinking can tend to overshadow what our intuition is trying to tell us. ❤
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You’re right there. Self-doubt and anxiety never help. ♥
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I definitely believe in intuition, or gut feeling. My problem is giving it credence and listening properly when my body/mind is telling me something. If I ignore it I regret it. Very interesting post.
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Thanks for adding your thoughts Elizabeth.. interesting how many people are aware of their intuition, but as you say sometimes we can be dismissive in the face of others opinions or other priorities. xx
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Hi Elizabeth. You hit the nail on the head – giving intuition credence is the hardest test because we go into self-doubt mode while trying to figure out if what we’re feeling is a message or if it is our imagination overreacting. This is why it’s a great thing to mediate and get to know our feelings, deciphering from where they stem – an instinct, or a feeling guided by fear and ego. 🙂
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An insightful post. Thank you Debby, for your wisdom and Sally for sharing. My ‘gut’ speaks plainly and I try to pause and listen. Sometimes the ‘white noise’ and busyness of life gets in the way and I always regret not pausing to listen to what my ‘gut’ was telling me initially. It has always proved to be ‘spot on’. ❤ to you both. ❤
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Thanks Jane for adding your experience..I agree with you, now I live a quieter life I have become more attuned to what my gut is telling me…♥
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Thanks so much Jane. I’m not surprised to hear this from you because you are a seasoned pro at this with your background. Undoubtedly, you are well-versed in to tuning into yourself which heightens the intuitive ability. Hugs flowing ❤ xoxo
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You are lovely, Debby. ❤ I can still be found mentally kicking myself when I haven't listened to my gut, which is telling me something is 'off'. and I steam ahead anyway….. Much ❤ flowing to you, always. ❤ for Sally ❤
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Thanks Jane ♥
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Lol, I’ve given myself plenty of those kicks through the years. Hugs ❤ xxx
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I felt them…he he ❤ ❤ ❤
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🙂 🙂 ❤
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Thank you for this very informative, and in my way very important posting, Debbie! First time i read about a connection between the brain and the stomach. But this makes sense. Honestly, since some years i more and more trusting my intuition, and i had failed less. Michael
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Thanks so much for reading Michael. That is wonderful news. You’ve been practicing for years how to tune in to your inner guidance and finding it is accurate most of the time. Practice makes almost perfect! It’s when we start second-guessing if what we’re feeling is real or are we putting too much thought into it, twisting it around thinking too much, then we’ve lost the inner connection. 🙂
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Thanks Michael.. and that is good news… and something that will no doubt prove helpful in the future too..xx
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For sure Sally! Thank you, and enjoy your evening.
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Great post. I often have ‘gut’ feelings, and about 90% of the time they’re correct. I also have deja vue moments where what my eyes are seeing is new, but it’s not new. It’s hard to describe something I haven’t seen before but my eyes tell me I have!
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Hi Stevie. It appears to me you are well tuned in if your gut is right so often. As for the deja vu, yes, that’s exactly it – knowing you’ve seen something or been somewhere before that you’d swear you physically have never seen or been there. ❤
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Judging by the comments Stevie it is a feeling that most of us have experienced in various forms. Deja vu is very unsettling and fascinating at the same time. x
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I trust my gut. Intuition is one of God’s most precious gifts. Very good post.
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Thank you Linda 🙂
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Agreed Linda..xxhugs..
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Reblogged this on Campbells World.
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Thanks so much Patty ❤
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Great wisdom! I remember years ago, being in an emotionally wounded state when I did not listen to my gut, other parts of my body started speaking up. It took a while, but I finally recognized the messages and learned the lessons. I like that the video includes positive messages, too!
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Hi JoAnna, it’s nice to hear that you have learned to pay attention to what your body is telling you. Congrats! 🙂
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Thanks!
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Thank you for adding your experience JoAnna.. even when we are in a weakened state our instincts to protect us still function..x
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I enjoyed the video, too. This is a fascinating subject. I have a pad and paper by the bed at night because some of my best ideas come when I leave them to my subconscious to work on. My intuition regarding people I meet is usually right – but not always!
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Hi Trish, it’s a learned skill for sure where practicing helps fine-tune our inner guidance. I too keep a notebook and pen right by my side for those great ideas that would certainly be lost by dawn’s light, lol 🙂 x
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I think we have on and off days as with anything and if we are not firing on all cylinders we have different priorities. xxx
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Every time I’ve tried to rationalize away a gut instinct, I’ve lived to regret it.
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And there you go Liz! We learn from each time we ignore it. 🙂
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Hi I also tend to trust my intuition. It’s an important gift to have and one to nurture. Thanks for sharing such a fascinating article Debby. 🙂
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I agree Marje…xx
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Thank you Marje. ❤
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I agree, Debby. I think there is a lot our gut can tell us. How many times have our intuitions about people and situations been correct? It is important to listen and take heed.
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I agree Norah.. the older you get the more you listen I believe.. the gut has learnt from experience too…x
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That’s so true, Sally. Better late than never. 😊💖
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♥♥
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Exactly Norah. I think it develops better with age. Many people do ger a ‘nudge’ from the universe but tend to be skeptical about. We have to learn to trust ourselves. ❤
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That’s true, Debby. For many of us, it’s something we were untaught and have to learn again. Trust in ourselves and others is important, but with our guts, ourselves most of all.
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Exactly! 🙂
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Personally, I don’t believe there is any connection between gut instincts and Déjà. I think they are both entirely different things, but, nonetheless, I believe in both.
I’ve had both ever since I can remember, and I’ve never known any of my gut instincts to be incorrect.
An excellent article, Debby, and I loved the video you shared with it.
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Thanks Hugh.. it has been interesting reading the different experiences and how many have trusted their gut..x
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Thanks so much Hugh for adding to the conversation. Gut instincts and deja vu are two separate things, although it is possible to have a deja vu moment anywhere anytime, even while in the midst of assessing our gut feeling. So glad you enjoyed the video 🙂 xx
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This is interesting, Debby. Thanks for sharing. I am a big believer in gut feel and always take notice of it. Ever since our home invasion in 2011.
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I didn’t know about that Robbie…it must have been terrifying..xx
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Wow Robbie. Maybe you will share that story one day – more about the instinct part than the horrible incident. 🙂
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Sometimes writing about past events brings back the trauma.
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I totally get that Robbie, I’m sorry. 😦
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Absolutely with you on this, Deb. We ignore instinct and gut feelings at our peril. There’s a chunk of our brain we know nothing about. Who knows what its trying to tell us.
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In agreement Jacqui..x
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That is absolutely correct! 🙂
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This is such a cool post. And, of course, Einstein weighed in on the topic. He was a rather interesting character. It’s pretty clear that “gut” feelings are real things and that intuition is worth paying attention to even if we don’t clearly understand how it functions or where it comes from. A fascinating post from Debby. Thanks for sharing, Sally.
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Thanks Diana..our bodies have been around for a great deal longer than we have and have learned a few things along the way..x
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Thanks again Diana. It’s true. Sometimes we have to trust when we know it’s right. The brain is one of the world’s mysteries. 🙂 x
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Hi Sally, thank you for another great column feature with our lovely Deb. Deb, thank you for another fascinating article. I have learned to listen to my ‘gut instinct’ more and more as the years go by. My youngest, V, is always telling me, ‘Mom, go with it or you’ll regret it.’ It’s true! Sometimes it’s stronger than others. When it’s shouted the loudest it’s been danger related, but other times it’s more subtle and I have to pay closer attention, but if it doesn’t go away and continues to ‘niggle’, I know it’s right to act on it. Sometimes, I wish it wasn’t there when it points to something uncomfortable. I can think of several times when I’ve ignored it and regretted it…
Thank you both, lovely ones…hugs all round! 🙂 ❤ xxx
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Thanks Sherri and Debby’s insightful post has resulted in many sharing their experiences with their gut instincts and it is amazing how many can say that it is a reliable guide when faced with people and situations… Glad V is tuned in too.. hugsxx♥
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Thank you, Sally. A great conversation here, as always. Hugs back to you 🙂 ❤ xxxx
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♥
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Hi Sher. Thanks for chiming in with your experience. That’s exactly it, our gut instincts us and unfortunately, until we learn to stop second-guessing what we are feeling, we can miss out on warnings. Trust is a hard task sometimes, even for ourselves trusting our own instincts. I think it gets easier as we age. ❤ ❤ xxx
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Hi Deb, huge apologies for my late reply here. I’m very slowly trying to find my way back to blogging here and there while taking care of everything else lol. I will catch up with you and Sally in the next few days, promise! I agree, I do think it gets easier as we age. When younger, I certainly missed a lot of those warnings…and paid the price. But hey, no experience is ever wasted, right? Great post, as always, Deb. Look forward to catching up with your others asap 🙂 ❤ ❤ xoxo
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That’s the truth Sher, no experience is wasted. I like that! And no worries, we all get where we need to be eventually. Hugs Sher. ❤ xxx
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Thanks, Deb and hugs back 🙂 ❤ xxx
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❤ ❤
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I live my life 50% on intuition, at least. Excellent post, Debby. I have made my best decisions using my gut (or in my case sometimes heart) intuition. If something is wrong, I feel it (know it) in my gut. If I should go a certain course, or if someone I meet is going to be important in my life, I feel it in my heart. Not sure this makes sense, but you know when something makes your heart “twist”? I think this is part of intuition also. I hope that by meditating twice a day, and opening my senses through walking, writing, and listening, I will hone my intuition every day.
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You are on the right path Pam. And meditating certainly does help clear the cobwebs and leave us more open to receive – those intuitive messages. 🙂 xx
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My intuition says we’d have a heck of a good time talking (and maybe drinking margaritas?) when/if we ever got together in person. 🙂
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Abaslutley! LOL Margaritas all around! 🙂
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Thank you Debby and Sally for posting this insightful article. A great reminder to trust my intuition and to pay attention to my inner voice. I tend to meditate and loved the analogy to doing the dishes and cleaning the sink. Neat video as well. Wow, where do you gals find the time to post so much? ❤
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Thanks Carol and Debby’s post struck a chord with many. Always a good idea to pay attention to our instincts.. ♥
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Thanks Carol. I’m pretty sure you’re already on the right path to knowing how to follow your intuition. So glad the video was insightful for you. And time? Lol, I never said there were enough hours in my days. ❤
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Great topic, Debby. And, thank you Sally for featuring Debby’s insightful and thought-provoking articles here.
Whenever a big decision is upon us or me, I go through the motions of making a list, full well knowing – in most cases – that my gut has already decided. In this case, it’s my brain trying to challenge that intuition and make it defend itself. In the end, the gut always wins, so I have no idea why I have to make my life and decisions always so much harder by challenging the gut choice and digging deep into trying to convince myself otherwise. Must be the “ego”.
My biggest gut story is the inciting incident of chapter one in my travel memoir. Again, it involves jumping headfirst into a life-changing decision. Good thing that Mark and I are still together. 🙂
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Thanks for sharing your process Liesbet and I think there have been times in my life when I have ignored my gut and regretted it.. and certainly getting engaged on our first date and married six weeks later was a gut decision that paid off forty years ago.. Is your travel memoir available as would be delighted to showcase it.. hugsx
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That remains such an unbelievable story how you two were right for each other and tied the knot that quickly. Talk about a “plunge”. 🙂 I’m still working towards publication, Sally. Thanks for the offer. I have you in mind to contact whenever the time is ripe. 🙂 Have a great weekend!
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Enjoy yours too..hugsx
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Thanks for hopping over here Liesbet. Thanks for reading and sharing your own experience with instinct. Yes, you’ve got it right, I too challenge my gut instincts and have becone quite aware of ego sneaking its way in. And I look forward to your new book. ❤
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