Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – August 11th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin

Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK    Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for a joke or two from Sally

Marriage Counseling

A husband and wife are having major problems after 15 years of marriage, so they go to a counsellor.

The counsellor asks them what the problem is. The wife launches into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they’ve been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counsellor gets up, walks around the desk, embraces the wife and kisses her very passionately. The woman shuts up and stares at him quietly in a daze.

The counsellor then turns to the husband and says, “Your wife is lonely. This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?”

The husband thinks for a moment and replies, “Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but Tuesdays I play poker, Thursdays I go bowling, and Fridays I go sailing. Do you work Saturdays?”

Being prepared…

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:

Jacob: “Are you the owner?”
The pharmacist answers, “Yes”.

Jacob: “Do you sell heart medication?”
Pharmacist: “Of course, we do.”

Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”
Pharmacist: “All kinds.”

Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?”
Pharmacist: “Definitely.”

Jacob: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?”
Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety. The works.”

Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson’s disease?”
Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”

Jacob: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers?”
Pharmacist: “All speeds and sizes”

Jacob says to the pharmacist: “We’re about to get married. We’d like to use this store as our Bridal Registry.”;

Thank you for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. thanks Debby and Sally.