Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – August 18th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – If it seems too good to be true and Last Wish

Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding this treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US AndAmazon UK    BlogD.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s new series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for a joke or two from Sally…

 

If it seems too good to be true….

Walking along the beach, John tripped over a half-buried kerosene lantern. He rubbed its side and sure enough, a Genie materialized.

“I can’t grant your wishes,” explained the freed spirit, “Due to poor connectivity with the seventh dimension. But I’ll give you three off-the-shelf gifts for releasing me: a potion to cure ill health, a very large diamond, and a dinner date with a famous movie star. By tomorrow afternoon, you will have received all these gifts.”

When John returned home from work the next evening, he excitedly asked his mother if anything had been delivered.

“Yes,” she replied. “It’s been an unusual day. At 2 pm, a 55 gallon drum of chicken soup arrived. About a half-hour later, a telegram came saying that a long-lost relative had left you a minor-league baseball stadium. Ten minutes ago, MGM called, inviting you to dinner with Lassie tonight.”

Last wish.

Mary Clancy goes up to Father O’Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she’s in tears.

He says, “So what’s bothering you, dear?”

She says, “Oh, Father, I’ve got terrible news. My husband passed away last night.”

The priest says, “Oh, Mary, that’s terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any
last requests?”

“Aye, That he did, Father…”

“And what did he say?”

“He said, ‘Please, Mary, put down that damn gun…”

And if you have time to spare here is a selection of my Books and reviews

Sally Cronin, Buy: :Amazon US – and:Amazon UK  –  Follow:Goodreads – Twitter: @sgc58

Thank you for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. thanks Debby and Sally.

60 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – August 18th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – If it seems too good to be true and Last Wish

  1. These are brilliant. I love the one about the algebra and it true! Michael said to me today that he can never remember anything he learns at school. I told him he remembers the important things like how to read, count and do useful maths. The others stuff you don’t remember because you never use it in life.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. According to the first one can we say dogs not diamonds are a girls best friend? Lol Thank you for the laughter. I fear this with Siri we will get very soon. These new board computers are so horrible to me, you will not believe. Michael

    Liked by 2 people

  3. So much appreciated! The weather’s been so wet here I haven’t been able to cut the grass for ages – there could be anything upto the size of a small elephant hiding in there now. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – 16th -22nd October – | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

  5. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – 16th -22nd August – Getting Reviews, Music, Food, Health, Books, and Humour | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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