Welcome to the current series of Posts from Your Archives… and I will be picking two posts from the blogs of those participating from the first six months of 2020. If you don’t mind me rifling through your archives… just let me know in the comments or you can find out the full scope: Posts from Your Archives – Pot Luck – 2020
This is the first post from Erica or Erika of Behind The Scenery Photo and her post this week is about something few of us consider writing in advance of one of life’s major events.
10 Lessons I Learned From Writing My Own Eulogy by Erica/Erika
Butchart Gardens, June 2020
You Could Hear A Pin Drop
- Did I hear the assignment correctly?
- I do not feel comfortable about this.
- Is the Universe trying to tell me something?
The Writing Assignment For Next Week
“Write your own eulogy in approximately 4 sentences and 75 words.”
My Writing Group
I greatly respect these smart, witty, inspirational women. I really like them. They are my friends.
I am not going to be the first one to cave in and say “no, this assignment is not for me.”
I want to stay open to new perspectives and new challenges.
Writing a eulogy is a challenge.
Writing My Own Eulogy is a Daunting Task!
New Zealand 2019
My earliest memories of death
- As a young child, I had a pet rabbit that disappeared one day. My parents told me it had died. Later on I heard some whispering about a stew. I am hoping I overheard incorrectly.
- My other early memory is when I was sent home from school. I saw my parent’s sad, tear-stained faces. I was seven years old. I know the exact date. November 22, 1963. The day President John F. Kennedy was assassinated.
Is The Universe Trying To Tell Me Something?
I would prefer not to think about death. Yet, I am not in denial.
The concept of dying is in my radar often. Statistics are staring at me daily on every news site.
We have been sheltering in place, quarantining, living life in limbo. We have not made plans and we have not seen many of our loved ones.
I have been putting life on hold.
I have lost perspective.
Is this what The Universe is trying to tell me?
Where Do I Begin My Eulogy?
Sixty plus years covers a lot of territory.
Many experiences. Many thoughts. Many emotions. Many loved ones.
75 words is a drop in the bucket.
1. It is difficult and uncomfortable to say something nice about myself. A common feeling.
Leanne Cresting The Hill shares: “…finding and owning our positives…change the narrative to things I like about myself – I’m not sure why we all find that so hard to do?”
2. Life’s greatest rewards are often found when I am feeling uncomfortable and taking risks.
Living outside of my comfort zone is when I thrive and I feel fully alive.
Miriam, a kindred spirit, writes the blog Out an’ About Her recent words describe this feeling well: “It’s about living life with no regrets, embracing it, with all of its ups and downs, the good times and the crazy times. Yes, we might make some mistakes along the way, but that’s when we learn all those life lessons that make up our story, and that’s when we discover what we’re capable of.”
3. Make informed decisions, yet do not live your life in fear.
4. Life should never be put on hold.
5. I cannot truly write all I would like to say in 75 words.
My actions will ultimately speak louder than any words I write.
6. Writing my eulogy taught me about the kind of person I want to be.
The qualities I value versus my accomplishments and achievements.
7. How do I affect the lives of others? Have I made a difference in this world?
8. Spend time with the people you love.
“She told them often how much she loved them.”
“She knew life was precious and every day was a gift.”
9. Facing the subject of death has brought a new perspective and clarity to how I live my present life.
10. Writing my Eulogy is not a sad, depressing exercise.
A huge thank you to Leanne for posing this challenging exercise. I greatly appreciate my courageous friends for being vulnerable and open to this challenge. The gift of friendship, a priceless legacy.
Leanne shares my eulogy along with five other unique, insightful and entertaining eulogies in her post The 4 Sentence Eulogy Challenge
Have you ever written a Eulogy? What lessons did you learn along the way?
Have you put your life on hold during these unprecedented last few months?
Epilogue: My Husband Reads My Eulogy Assignment
My husband: “That’s it?”
Me: “I am already over the word count.”
Me again: “No tears?”
My husband: “I just got an honourable mention.”
Me: “I love you all equally, just in a different way. You know, apples and oranges.”
Me again: “I expect you to write a longer eulogy for me. I expect some tears.”
We both burst out laughing.
Inside, we know each other too well after 42 years.
Inside, we have a lump in our throats.
Inside, we both have tears.
About Erica/Erika
I am an eternal optimist and a grateful Human Being.
I have been living on the beautiful West Coast of British Columbia with my husband for the past 28 years. I am thankful our two daughters and their families live close by.
My career was in health care as a Dental Hygienist for over 25 years.
I am surrounded by people who inspire me on a daily basis. I love the concept of sharing new perspectives with each other and learning from each other.
I am always observing and paying attention, especially to the lessons that begin in whispers, lessons that get louder and louder.
I love taking pictures and I am often surprised by the hidden gems I missed the first time around. I chose the name Behind The Scenery Photo because there is always a story behind every photo. I am passionate about health, wellness and mindfulness. I am a work in progress, constantly learning, evolving, recreating.
Why the Names Erica/Erika?
A question I am often asked is why the two names? The answer is found in this link. I also learned a great deal from the Comments. Erica or Erika? Which Name Should I Keep?
Connect to Erica/Erika website: Behind the Scenery Photo – Facebook: Behind the Scenery Photo
Thank you for dropping by and Erica/Erika would love your feedback.. thanks Sally.
This is fascinating. I have wondered what my eulogy would be.
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Nice to meet you, Linda, I had not given my eulogy any thought until the topic came up in one of my writing groups. I found the 75 word count very challenging since I did not want to leave any loved ones out. I also found it difficult to say nice things about myself. A common feeling. I did learn a great deal. You might find it a fun exercise. Thank you for reading and sharing your comment. I look forward to visiting your blog. Erica
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I am sure whoever wrote it would make it both loving and entertaining.. ♥
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Hi Erica, I found your somewhat delicate topic both thought provoking and given the changing times we are living in due to the pandemic, very good indeed. I have indeed written a eulogy, not my mother, when she died two years ago and it caused me to give a lot of time to preparing what is in fact a diary of someone’s life, a final loving gesture as you obviously want the person to be remembered for the many facets of their life.
Well done.
Joyce Hampton – fellow author
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Thanks for commenting Joyce.. a lovely post and glad you enjoyed too. xx
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Nice to meet you, Joyce, In this exercise we had the limitation of approximately 75 words for our eulogies. Our writing group consists of six women and each of us had a different spin on our eulogies. Humorous and interesting. You can find the eulogies on Leanne’s “Cresting The Hill” blog site. Sally has highlighted this link in the post.
I cannot imagine how difficult and emotional it was for you to write your Mother’s eulogy. Thank you for sharing your thoughtful and supportive comment. Erica
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Hi Sally, I woke up to a wonderful surprise this morning to find my post in your fascinating and fun Smorgasbord Blog Magazine. Thank you! Writing my eulogy was a daunting task and I found it life-changing. I learned many lessons along the way and I am glad I said, yes. I look forward to reading the comments and feedback since here is where I often find gems. Thank you, again, and I look forward to staying connected.
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Sorry not to get to you with a link Erica.. I was offline most of the afternoon … skiving … I see that it has struck a chord with people as it did for me.. hugsx
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Thank you again, Sally, for your warm welcome. It is always fun to meet new people and gain some new perspectives. xx
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Delighted to have you over Erica and look forward to seeing you again soon.. hugsx
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I remember this post from Erica’s site. I think it’s an insightful exercise and helpful in reviewing our journey, but also prioritizing how we spend the rest of our time. I did it myself after my daughter was born. I wanted to leave a message of love in case anything ever happened to me. A lovely post and great share, Sally.
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Diana, I remember you mentioning how you wrote your eulogy after your daughter was born. I was very moved by this. You reminded me how a close family member did this when they were battling a challenging illness. The 75 word count was very limiting. This is likely a good thing, too. This exercise was meant more for the lessons I learned than the actual words. (my interpretation) Thank you for sharing your kind thoughts here, too. Erica
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It’s a great post, Erica. I’m glad Sally found it.
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I think it is a very good thing to do especially when you have children. It is something that they can always keep and treasure. xx
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Now all I have to do is find it! Lol
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There is that.. xxx
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I really enjoyed this post, Sally.
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Thanks Robbie..hugsx
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Thank you, Robbie, for your always kind, supportive comments. xx
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Morbid subject, but fun post and food for thought. ❤
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It certainly is something to think about…. I am not planning on a very big bash in fact I want just Status Quo and David at mine… so I just have to write a letter to him.. but 75 words…a challenge..♥♥
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Lolllllllllllllllllllllll ❤
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♥
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Hi Debby, I did find the subject and the word count challenging. In retrospect, I would have written things down differently. We discussed our eulogies at our meeting and also had a lot of giggles. Like you say, a fun post and food for thought. I just returned from visiting your diverse, interesting blog and I subscribed to your site. I look forward to reading more.🙂 Erica
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Hi Erica. Nice to connect with you. Kudos to you for writing a self eulogy, lol 🙂 x
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I hope to stay above the grass for many more healthy years. 🙂
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Amen! 🙂
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We hope so too Erica…♥
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Erica it was lovely to re-read this here and to smile again at how the challenge scared you and then inspired you – I love it when something takes us out of our comfort zone. xx
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Thanks for commenting and pleased that you enjoyed again.
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Thank you for commenting here, Leanne. It was challenging, thought-provoking and fun. I recall sharing a lot of giggles.🙂 I look forward to sharing more out of our comfort zone, and more giggles.xx
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I think this is a fascinating challenge, Erica. (That’s my way of saying I like it, but I probably won’t try it.🤣) I spoke at my mom’s eulogy two years ago. If she were listening, I’d have loved to throw in that bit about being unable to continue because I’ve hit the seventy-five-word limit. The people in the church would have thought I lost my mind, but my mom would have loved it. She had the best sense of humor.
Your ten lessons are filled with wisdom. I wish I would have discovered #2 (Life’s greatest rewards are often found when I’m feeling uncomfortable and taking risks.) I got there eventually, but I wish I learned this lesson when I was far younger.
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Thanks Pete.. and 75 words is extremely difficult for me …..about anything! x
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Hi Pete, I recall meeting you briefly this year and your passion for teaching. I love the title of your book “They Call Me Mom.”
Writing my own eulogy has never been in my radar, until now. I am hoping it is not a sign of things to come. 😅 Out of my comfort zone, yet I learned a great deal. In retrospect, I would have written it differently. I just now returned from visiting your blog and I have subscribed. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I look forward to staying connected.🙂
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The first time I hear about a eulogy. Thank you for this surprise. Good and useful to know. Michael
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Glad you enjoyed Michael…. hugxx
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One can never learn enough. Gosh, and ihave to learn so much more in lterature.
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We are all on that learning curve Michael…hugsxx
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😉
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Nice to meet you, Michael. I have helped write a eulogy for family members who have passed away, although, not for myself. It was definitely a challenging exercise. Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. Erica
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I am sure helping third with writing can be very difficult and time consuming. What a great work you did. Michael
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Hi sally, Thanks for sharing Erica’s post, it was such an interesting exercise to do and we all learnt a lot from doing it! Erica has created a lovely honest and heartfelt collection in her words.
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So pleased that you found it interesting Debbie..I think being asked to write your own eulogy comes under the term ‘lost for words’ especially when restricted to only 75 of them.. Erica did a great job and certainly gave us all something to think about..have a good weekend.
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Thank you, Deb, for commenting here. You were very much part of the “honest” “heartfelt” and especially the giggles. We always have fun. 🙂
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Thank you, Erica. What a poser…Where to start? Drama: “Farewell, cruel life…” etc., I too would find it difficult to say nice things about myself. And in only 75 words? Joke. You did very well. Even given a longer word count it is difficult. I love so many special people and have been so lucky.Cheers.
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I think you summed it up very well in even less than 75 words Joy.. I love so many special people and have been so lucky.. we should all be able to say that…♥
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Thanks, Sally. If only, eh! Talk about ‘luck of the draw…’ Hugs xx
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With you on that Joy..♥
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Nice to meet you, Joy, I just returned from visiting your blog and I became lost in reading your fascinating and thought-provoking posts. I have subscribed to your blog.
Your words “farewell, cruel life…” made me smile. I did find the eulogy a challenging exercise and I learned a great deal. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I look forward to connecting.
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