Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – September 17th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Stress relief and Heaven and Hell.

Firstly, with the results of sleuthing on the Internet are some funnies from Debby Gies followed by some jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

Thanks to Debby for finding these treasures… please give her a round of applause..

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon USAndAmazon UK    Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads –  Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s series here on Smorgasbord  D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now for a joke from Sally

Heaven or Hell.

Here in Ireland there is a little tradition that takes place two weeks before you die. In the night the angel of death visits you and takes you on a journey.

Michael had just fallen asleep when the angel arrived and swept him off in his arms. The first stop was heaven and he set Michael down on his feet on a cloud.

“Now Michael, when you die you have a choice to come to heaven or go to hell. I am going to show you the options. Here in heaven you will be allocated your own cloud, a harp and a white toga that it is your responsibility to wash when the cloud rains once a week.

Michael looked less than impressed and after a brief look around the angel swept him back up again and plummeted downwards.

They entered through a large ornate iron gate and the angel dropped Michael to the floor where he stood looking around him in amazement. There was a swimming pool with bikini clad beautiful women, a bar serving pints of Guinness and shots of whisky, there was a hot tub and he could hear some great music coming from the beach where the smell of cooking sausages wafted across to him.

The angel looked at him and asked if he had made up his mind where he wanted to go.

Michael had no hesitation in telling him he wanted to go to hell.

The angel returned Michael to his bed and left him to wake up in the morning without any recollection of the night’s travels.

Sure enough two weeks later, Michael passed away and in a flash found himself back at the gates of hell. His memory of his recent trip fully restored, he rang the bell, and was ushered in and straight through a door marked ‘Reception and Induction’

To his horror he found himself knee high in cow dung and there were thousands of other people all shovelling the muck into carts pulled by other men and women, harnessed and being whipped.

He turned back to the door to see a guard with his arms crossed keeping an eye on the proceedings. Now Michael had been known in life as a man who was not going to take any nonsense from anybody and he stormed over to the guard and demanded to see the head man.

He berated the guard for some time and eventually the door opened and the devil himself appeared.

Michael explained that he had been shown around by the angel and where was the pool; the bikini clad beautiful women and the bar? He had not signed up for dung shovelling.

The devil smiled benignly at the man and turned on his heel. Over his shoulder he uttered the oft heard words on earth.

“That was marketing, now you are a customer!”

 

Thanks for dropping in today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face.. thanks Sally and Debby.

 

And if you have time to spare here is a selection of my Books and reviews

Sally Cronin, Buy: :Amazon US – and:Amazon UK  –  Follow:Goodreads – Twitter: @sgc58

 

56 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – September 17th 2020 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Stress relief and Heaven and Hell.

  1. I love you story, Sally. I somehow rings true. (Not the Hell bit, but the Marketing.)
    And Debbie, the catching fire of the underpants would certainly make the news more interesting. And I agree with the rolling eyeballs, and love the Coronavirus top 10.
    Thanks for making me laugh.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. If liars pants did catch on fire reminds me of those Geico ads on television where Pinocchio is a motivational speaker and says something like, “As I look around the room, all I see is potential.” Of course, each time he compliments someone, his nose grows.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – September 13th – 19th 2020 – Jazz, Ricotta Cheese, Risotto, Collies, books, reviews and funnies | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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