Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – September 18th 2020 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp

Author Daniel Kemp keeps us entertained daily on Facebook with his witty jokes and funny images.. by popular request he is back to do another open mic night for us here today.

Image may contain: text that says "My son kept chewing on electrical cords so I had to ground him. He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly."

Image may contain: 2 people, text that says "EVOLUTION 2019 2020 2021"

Image may contain: text that says "Just once Id like to read a medication label that says: Warning! may cause permanent weight loss, increased energy and wrinkle removal. The Journey Homie"

Image may contain: 1 person, text that says "I'M PROUD TO ANNOUNCE THAT I HAVE COMPLETED THE 1ST ITEM ON MY BUCKET LIST I HAVE THE BUCKET"

 

And to finish off..

Experiment…

I volunteered for the Russian vaccine trials for Covid-19, here in Bexley and I’ve received my first shot. I wanted to let you know that it’s completely safe with иo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshκι χoρoshό я чувствую себя немного странно и я думаю, что вытащил ослиные уши.

Told you so!

There was a young couple who lived in a town filled with crime. After three of their neighbors’ houses had been robbed, the couple decided to get a guard dog.

So the young wife went to the pet store and said, “I need a good guard dog.” The clerk replied, “Sorry, we’re all sold out. All we have left is this little Scottie dog. But, he does know karate.”

The wife didn’t believe the clerk, so he said to the dog, “Karate that chair.” The dog went up to the chair and broke it into pieces. Then he said to the dog, “Karate that table.” The dog went up to the table and broke it in half.

So the wife bought the dog and took it home to her husband who was expecting a big guard dog. The husband was of course disappointed and somewhat skeptical about the Scottie dog’s abilities as a guard dog.

When she told her husband that the dog knew karate.

He said, “Karate my ass!”

My thanks to Danny for allowing me to raid his Facebook page…..

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

A selection of books by Daniel Kemp

A recent review for The Widow’s Son

Kindle Customer 5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely One of the Best  Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2020

I cannot praise you enough on your style of writing, I have read volumes 1 and 2 of this series one after the others , stopping at the end beginning at the beginning no pause inbetween. This one the widows son first caught my attention with the title as I am a traveler from the East MM living in the Levant. Around the middle of this book to the ending you really out did yourself. Your plot looking at the long view of the world outstanding absolutely outstanding. One of the best stories i have read in a long time. Thank You. Steven

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK – And : Amazon US – follow Daniel: Goodreads – Website: Author Danny Kemp – Facebook: Books by Daniel – Twitter:@danielkemp6

 

Thank you for dropping in today and I hope it has make a good start to your weekend…thanks Sally.

 

47 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – September 18th 2020 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp

  1. The bucket and the ears were hilarious. I avoid ‘mask ears’ by staying home mostly, lol 🙂 Still LOLing over the Karate and the vaccine. I’ll leave it there. Always good fun from Danny ❤ hugs

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – September 13th – 19th 2020 – Jazz, Ricotta Cheese, Risotto, Collies, books, reviews and funnies | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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