Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp .. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.
About an hour ago I ran into the pub and shouted to my mate. “Dave! I’ve just seen your car being stolen.”
He said, “Didn’t you try to stop them?”
I said, “No, but don’t worry. I got the registration.”
There is to be no Nativity this year because the three Wise Men face a travel ban. The shepherds have been furloughed. The Innkeeper has shut under tier 3 regulations and had a slump in bookings. Santa won’t be working as he would break the rule of 6 with Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Donner and Blitzen. As for Rudolph, with that red nose, he should be isolating and taking a test
Just after the maid had been fired, she took five quid from her purse and handed it to Fido the family dog.
When her former employer asked why the maid gave the dog five quid she swiftly answered,
“I never forget a friend. This was for helping me clean the dishes all the time!!
A farmer in the country has a watermelon patch, and upon inspection, he discovers that some of the local kids have been helping themselves to a feast.
The farmer thinks of ways to discourage this profit-eating situation, and he puts up a sign that reads:
“WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS CONTAINS CYANIDE!”
He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons.
The farmer returned to the watermelon patch a week later to discover that none of the watermelons have been eaten, but finds another sign that reads:
“NOW THERE ARE TWO!
My thanks to Danny for allowing me to raid his Facebook: Danny Kemp
About Daniel Kemp
Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?
In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.
Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.
He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.
A selection of books by Daniel Kemp
A review for A Covenant of Spies
Daniel Kemp’s A Covenant Of Spies deals with British Intelligence investigating Russian operative.
I enjoyed the clever, complex tale featuring a net of lies and political cover-ups that made me think twice about the daily news headlines.
An entertaining story of 21st century spies and tales of the Cold War sprinkled with clues till the end, it reminded me of “Bridge of Spies”.
Thank you for dropping in today and I hope it has make a good start to your weekend…thanks Sally.