Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – January 8th 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Poachers and Retirement speeches…

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp  .. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad.

And now for that little bit extra….

A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish:

A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However he was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited:

“I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents; embezzled from his employer; had an affair with his boss’s wife; had sex with his boss’s daughter, taken illegal drugs; and was arrested several times for public nudity. I was appalled that one person could do so many awful things but as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people.”

Just as the Priest finished his talk the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:

“I’ll never forget the first day our parish Priest arrived.” Said the politician. “In fact, I had the honour of being the first person to go to him for confession.”

My thanks to Danny for allowing me to raid his Facebook: Danny Kemp

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

A selection of books by Daniel Kemp

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK – And : Amazon US – follow Daniel: Goodreads – Website: Author Danny Kemp – Facebook: Books by Daniel – Twitter:@danielkemp6

 

34 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – January 8th 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – Poachers and Retirement speeches…

  1. I love the priest joke. I’m not sure if it actually happened or it’s just a joke, but it’s priceless. It reminds me of a true story that my mother-in-law told. Several years after her first marriage ended, she began dating. She met a guy who was a solid, upstanding man, but one who had no filter on his mouth. He was one of those guys who could start ranting about something to a stranger without knowing the other person’s views.

    My mother-in-law says they were at some function, and he was in the usual form, carrying on and cussing about something. After five minutes, he finally took a breath and asked the lady he was talking to what she did for a living. Her response was perfect for the situation. “I’m a nun.” 🤣🤣🤣

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – January 3rd – 9th 2020 – Breakfast Show, 1960s, Poetry, Book Reviews, Health and Funnies | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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