Welcome to laughter lines with some fun from around the web from Debby Gies and a joke or two to make you smile from Sally.
If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster
Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020
Now something from Sally’s Archives
There are some fascinating things on old tombstones . . .
Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York Born 1903–Died 1942 Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.
In a Thurmont, Maryland cemetery: Here lies an Atheist, all dressed up and no place to go.
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia: Here lies Ezekial Aikle, Age 102. Only the good die young.
In a London, England cemetery: Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid but died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767
In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery: Anna Wallace The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna. Clark Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery: Here lies Johnny Yeast. Pardon him for not rising.
In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery: Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake,
Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery: Here lays The Kid, We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw.
A lawyer’s epitaph in England: Sir John Strange.
Here lies an honest lawyer, and that is Strange.
John Penny’s epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery: Reader, if cash thou art in want of any, Dig 6 feet deep and thou wilt find a Penny.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England: On the 22nd of June, Jonathan Fiddle went out of tune.
Anna Hopewell’s grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont: Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn’t the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.
On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts: Under the sod and under the trees, Lies the body of Jonathan Pease. He is not here, there’s only the pod, Pease shelled out and went to God.
In a cemetery in England: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you, I’ll not consent, Until I know which way you went.
Thanks for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Debby and Sally.
LOL. Good ones, Maids of Myrth.
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Thank you John… delighted to keep you smiling..hugsx
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Thanks John 🙂
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Ms. King needs a man. It’s funny when the kids know that.
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Yes they don’t miss much…lol.xx
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Lol Pete. I commented to Sally, when I posted that one on FB, I added a caption. She doesn’t need a man, lol 🙂
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I love the grapes one, Debby.
And Sally, the last tombstone, especially the reply, is priceless.
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lol..thanks Viv..not that I plan on having a headstone.. but perhaps a little monument Gone With the Wind….hugsxx..
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The Roomba and the grapes were proper chuckles for me as were far too many of the epitaphs! Thanks for the fun, both of you. x
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Thanks Trish..delighted you enjoyed..hugsx
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I thought the Roomba was hilarious when I first saw it Trish. Glad you enjoyed ❤
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Thank you for an abundance of smiles. Fantastic! 😂
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Great to hear thanks Gwen..hugs ♥
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Yeah! Lol Miss King is in need of a man. Good, in this age kids normally are having no knowledge about online dating services. 😉 Cats are always best, but the gravestone writings are funny too. Thank you for sharing!
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Kids are very aware these days and glad you enjoye Michael..hugsx
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😉 Thats true, Sally! Therefore its of need giving them more constitutional rights too.
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Lol Michael. 🙂
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:-)) Here in the Bavarian Bible Belt you have to be married at least before thirty. Than you have to got delivered kinds, to build a house, and at least your will never be able to leave this famous 😉 area. Therefore over 80 percent are relatives to each other, since over one and an half century. Teacher apprentices are leaving as fast as possible. You cant remember their faces. Lol have a beautiful weekend, Debby!
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Thank is interesting Michael… xx
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Wow, that was an interesting fact! Omg, the teachers are leaving? Goodness me! Thanks Michael. Happy weekend to you too 🙂
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Hi Debby! I hope i had not shocked you too much. 😉 Bavaria is at least known for the very conservative status. The teacher are not leaving. They cant, because they are tought for only this state, and before they will get a lifetime agreement, they (behind hands) have to got married. How to escape this way? 🙂 Thank you, and: Its Bavaria. Nothing else! Lol
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Okay, well thank you for sharing this. 🙂
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With a great pleasure. Similar to “Letters from Hell”. Maybe the title of my first ever book. :-)) Have a beautiful weekend, Debby!
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Lol Michael. I’d like to read that one day! 🙂
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Lol – Wait on, this village is giving so much. One can not imagine all the crazyness, here. :-)) Have a beautiful week!
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Michael, you need to write this story! 🙂
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It’s fab to laugh – thank you so much.
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Good to hear thanks Barbara..hugsx
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Glad you enjoyed Barbara 🙂
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The roomba one cracked me up, and all the tombstone ones 🙂
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Thanks Jessica..I think leaving your own instructions is a good idea as left to others it might end up in a funnies one day…xxx
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Haha, especially if you weren’t the nicest human being when you were alive!
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Definitely..♥
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Me too! 🙂
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LOL, love my Roomba memes Sal. And that first one, the child’s drawing. I believe when I posted it I captioned it – “And she was fine without one” :). Love the epitaphs, but for real? 🙂 ❤
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lol .. I am sure the teacher might have said the same thing.. and love that Roomba mat..and have no idea about the epitaphs but if not real they should be…♥♥
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LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL ❤
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♥♥
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I grew up in Enosburg Falls, Vermont. I need to hunt down that tombstone to see if it really exists.
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Look forward to hearing if it really exists Liz…hugsx
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I expect that I will drive my husband crazy in the process of finding out. 😀
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That is a good thing for them Liz in my experience lol…xxx
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😀
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Hi Sally and Debby, Loved those tombstones and poor Ms King – a man-free zone. I guess that’s me too now! lol. Toni x
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Thanks Toni glad you enjoyed. ♥♥
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nice to have a sense of humor about your epitaph…
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Reblogged this on Daniel Kemp and commented:
Have another laugh at The Smorgasbord Blog Magazine
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Thanks for sharing Danny..hugsx
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I loved the quotes from the tombstones particularly the one from a cemetery in England:— Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, so shall you be, Remember this and follow me.
To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:
To follow you, I’ll not consent, Until I know which way you went.
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Thanks Danny and there are some wits about… I think you need to make sure you write your own words so that nobody else feels they can add their thoughts lol..xx
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I’m still laughing over the Roomba summoning a demon. 🙂 Thanks, ladies!
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Many smiles!!
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Great Jennie..hugsx
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Hilarious both. Those inscriptions on graves are unbelievable, Sally. Greg would be horrified at such disrespect for the dead. He won’t even let me take pictures of graves, I have to sneak them.
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Lol.. I won’t be having one.. my ashes are going to be scattered to the four winds…but they are very amusing…hugsx
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I want to be buried, Sally. I like the idea of having a grave. I am a romantic.
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A long time ahead Robbie and by then we might all be shot into space in a rocket to be dispersed amongst the stars.. xxx
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