Welcome to laughter lines with some fun from around the web from Debby Gies and a joke or two to make you smile from Sally.
Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020
Now something from Sally.
Some Book titles before the editing team got hold of them!
The Grapes of Exasperation
50 Penumbras of Silvery-Ash
An Adieu to Limbs
The Supremo of the Circlets
And a few grammar one-liners (cringe!)
The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
Q: What’s the difference between a cat and a comma?
A: One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
Q: Why should you never date an apostrophe?
A: They’re too possessive
Q: What do you call Santa’s little helpers?
A: Subordinate clauses
Did you hear the one about the pregnant woman who went into labour and started shouting, “Couldn’t! Wouldn’t! Shouldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”?
She was having contractions
Q: What happened when the verb asked the noun to conjugate?
A: The noun declined.
I invented a new word! Plagiarism.
Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out.
It could spell disaster.
Q: How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to screw the bulb almost all the way in, and one to give a surprising twist at the end.
Q: What should you say to comfort a grammar nazi?
A: “There, their, they’re.”
When I was a kid, my teacher looked my way and said, “Name two pronouns.”
I said, “Who, me?”
I before e… except when you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighbour.
“Write a wise saying and your name will live forever.” —Anonymous.
Thanks for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Debby and Sally.