Welcome to laughter lines with some fun from around the web from Debby Gies and a joke or two to make you smile from Sally.
If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster
Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020
Now something from Sally.
Shepherd Wisdom
A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a brand new Jeep Cherokee advanced out of a dust cloud toward him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and a YSL tie, leaned out of the window and asked the shepherd:
“If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have in your flock, will you give me one?”
The shepherd looks at the yuppie, then at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers:
“Sure.” The yuppie parks the car, whips out his notebook, connects it to a cellphone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system, scans the area, opens up a database and 60 Excel spreadsheets with complex formulae.
Finally he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech miniaturised printer, turns to the shepherd and says: “You have exactly 1586 sheep.”
“That is correct, take one of the sheep,” says the shepherd. He watches the young man select a sheep and bundle it into his Cherokee.
Then he says: “If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me my sheep back?”
“Okay, why not,” answers the young man.
“You are a consultant,” says the shepherd.
“That is correct,” says the yuppie, “How did you guess?”.
“Easy,” answers the shepherd. “You turn up here although nobody called you. You want to be paid for the answer to a question I already knew. And you know nothing about my business, because you took my dog!”
Thanks for joining us today and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face…Debby and Sally.
I’ve seen that look on a dog when we’ve been eating something delicious – though usually there’s some drool to add to the annoyance. Loved the undercover sheepdog! xx
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Thanks Alex.. and wafts of food from the kitchen used to cause excitement, sadly dashed when unsuitable for canines..lol..♥
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That dog needs to get away out of the snow! 💜💜
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Lol… he is amongst friends Willow..hugsx♥
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But so they know who he is 💜💜
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I loved these Sally and Debbie. The poor kid in the principal’s office. Loved the consultant joke. I was a consultant for five years and people would ask what I did. My answer was high-priced babysitting.😁
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Lol.. been there and done that…too much paperwork for the taxman…hugsx
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so true.
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Ha ha ha. I was giggling at the “Carpenter ants,” Debby. And a great description of a consultant, Sally. So funny. Thanks to you both!
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Thanks Diana… some witty minds out there and happy to pass along their witticisms…lol ♥
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Coffee and chuckles= a great way to start the day 🙂
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Thanks Jacquie and hope the day continues in the same way..hugsxxx
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Wow, these were fantastic. Colonel Sanders really surprised me, as did the consultant. Fabulous work, ladies. Hugs
Reblogged on Improvisation – “The Art of Living”
https://williampriceking.tumblr.com/
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Thanks William.. personally Colonel Sanders gets my vote.. do like a bit of KFC.. thanks for passing along..hugsxx
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Happy to make you smile William. Thanks again for sharing too ❤
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loved the Colonel Sanders one and the shepherd one. those know-it-all consultants…
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I know… I was a woman consultant.. even more dodgy lol…xx
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Do you think there were many clients who discounted your recommendations because you were a woman?
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Actually no Jim.. I had proved myself in one area on a temporary basis on a smaller scale and then trusted me with some bigger projects. It was a male dominated industry but that has never bothered me, I liked the challenge.. xx
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I’m happy to hear that. I have the sense that not every woman used to get such respect, even if they were fully capable of doing what needed to be done…
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They didn’t even in the 1990s… and some of the things said to me even at a senior level would be actionable today as discrimination. However back then you put your head down and did the job to the best of your ability and didn’t whinge. The majority of times you earned respect. A bit like being an indie author!!! xxx
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that skill set and attitude has paid off!
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Thanks Jim..xx
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Do not try to deceive a dog, sheep, or shepherd. Lol
You are wonderful, Debby and Sally! Thank you! Michael
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Never try to deceive a dog…for sure.. thanks Michael…hugs x
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:-)) Thank you for sharing, Sally! Wonderful! hugsx
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Your joke about consultants sums them up to a tee, Sally. Great memes too.
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Lol.. I am afraid it does the majority of them Robbie…hugsx
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Carpenter ants? Good one. I love the undercover sheepdog and the consultant.
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These are great! I loved the first one in particular, which spoke to my inner smart aleck.
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Lol..certainly A for effort…xx
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😀
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Carpenter ants, Debby!!! Sally, great joke about consultants!
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Lol… that song has been in my head all day.. ♥
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Same here…
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Thanks for the laughs!!!
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Pleasure Dorothy… good to hear..hugsx
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Great laughs today, ladies, especially the carpenter ants.
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Some clever wits out there… who on earth would have come up with that..x
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You definitely left me smililng Sally. I loved the Carpenter Ants.
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Great thanks Carla for letting us know.. xx
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Lots of giggles here today, ladies. I think the Carpenter ants may be my fave. 🙂
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Thanks Jan.. I haven’t managed to stop it rolling around in my head yet…have a lovely weekend..hugsx♥
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Thanks for holding the fort Sal. The Carpenter ants were a smash hit, lol. I personally liked the last one – #33 LOL ❤ xx
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Thanks for the diligent foraging Debby and we are good for a few weeks thanks to that.. and I love that image…he looks fed up..lol ♥♥
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Lol, than you Sally Star ❤ xxx
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♥
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Love the carpenter ants!
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bet you have that song in your head too like me now…those ants get everywhere ..xxx
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They do!! And yes, I do!! 😀
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♥
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Thanks for the laughs!!
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Thanks Amy..hugsx
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