Welcome to laughter lines. We will be sharing some of our favourites from the archives over the next few weeks.
Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020
Now something from Sally
A police officer at a speed trap pulls over a car he clocks creeping along at 22 miles per hour.
Approaching the car, he notices that there are four old ladies inside — two in the front seat and two in the back, the three passengers all wide-eyed and white as ghosts.
The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I was going the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?”
“Ma’am,” the officer replies, “You weren’t speeding, but driving significantly slower than the speed limit can also be dangerous to other drivers.”
“Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly: 22 miles an hour!” the old woman explains.
Chuckling, the officer explains to her that “22” is the route number, not the speed limit. Embarrassed, the woman grins and thanks him for pointing out her error.
Before he lets them go, the policeman asks, “Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken.”
“Oh,” the driver replies, “they’ll be all right in a minute. We just got off Route 148.”
Sons and their mothers..
Three old ladies are sitting around a table playing and boasting about their sons.
‘My Jack,’ said Lily, is such a wonderful boy, each week he visits me for two hours and brings me the most beautiful bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates. Once a month he takes me out to a restaurant for Sunday lunch and anything I need, I just have to mention it and it is there.
‘Well’, said Mary a little tartly. ‘My Angus lives with me and every morning brings up a tray to my room with a fully cooked breakfast and a pot of tea with a white rose in a bud vase. He comes home from work every day to make me soup and a sandwich and then in the evening we watch television with a wonderful supper he has prepared’.
Molly held up her hand and smiled smugly at her friends. ‘I don’t want to take away from your love for your sons and what they do for you but I think that my son Michael is the king of sons. Three times a week he pays someone £150 an hour just so he can lie on their couch and talk to them about me.. and only me!’
Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.