Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra – May 14th 2021 – Another Open Mic Night with author Daniel Kemp – The Month of May and Chickens

Author Daniel Kemp entertains us again with his funnies from: Danny Kemp .. Always a place to find funnies and jokes to cheer you up… plus some satirical political commentary on politicians at home and abroad. –

And to finish up…

Farmer Jack and his Chickens

Farmer Jack once lived on a quiet rural highway, but as time went by, the traffic slowly built up and eventually got so heavy and so fast that his free-range chickens were being run over, at a rate of three to six a week.

So Farmer Jack called the local police station to complain,

“You’ve got to do something about all these people driving so fast and killing all my chickens,” he said to the local police officer.

“What do you want me to do?” asked the policeman.

“I don’t care, just do something about those crazy drivers!”

So the next day the policeman had the council erect a sign that said: SCHOOL CROSSING.

Three days later Farmer Jack called the policeman and said, “You’ve still got to do something about these drivers. The School Crossing sign seems to make them go even faster!”

So again, they put up a new sign: SLOW: CHILDREN AT PLAY.
That really made things worse. So Farmer Jack called and said, “Your signs are no good. Can I put up my own sign?” he asked.

In order to get Farmer Jack off his back, the policeman said, “Sure. Put up your own sign.”

The phone calls to the Police Station stopped, but curiosity got the better of the officer, so he called Farmer Jack,

“How is the problem with the speeding drivers? Did you put up your sign?”

“Oh, I sure did and not one chicken has been killed.”

The policeman was really curious and thought he’d better go out and take a look at the sign. He also thought the sign may be something the police could use elsewhere to slow drivers down. So he drove out to Farmer Jack’s house.

His jaw dropped the moment he saw the sign . . . .

“NUDIST COLONY”  Slow down and watch for chicks!!

My thanks to Danny for allowing me to raid his Facebook: Danny Kemp

About Daniel Kemp

Daniel Kemp, ex-London police officer, mini-cab business owner, pub tenant and licensed London taxi driver never planned to be a writer, but after his first novel –The Desolate Garden — was under a paid option to become a $30 million film for five years until distribution became an insurmountable problem for the production company what else could he do?

In May 2018 his book What Happened In Vienna, Jack? became a number one bestseller on four separate Amazon sites: America, UK, Canada, and Australia.

Although it’s true to say that he mainly concentrates on what he knows best; murders laced by the mystery involving spies, his diverse experience of life shows in the short stories he writes, namely: Why? A Complicated Love, and the intriguing story titled The Story That Had No Beginning.

He is the recipient of rave reviews from a prestigious Manhattan publication, been described as –the new Graham Green — by a managerial employee of Waterstones Books, for whom he did a countrywide tour of signing events, and he has appeared on ‘live’ television in the UK.

A selection of books by Daniel Kemp

One of the reviews for A Desolate Garden

D. W. Peach 5.0 out of 5 stars Impressive writing  Reviewed in the United States on November 16, 2019

This is a well-written but exceedingly complex book. Set in the world of espionage, international intrigue, and political manipulations, it follows an investigation by Harry Patterson into the murders of his father and brother. Judith Meadows has been assigned to aid him, and the two of them make quite a pair. Their testy relationship adds some flavor to an otherwise cerebral read.

What do I mean by that? Between sections of expertly written dialog, the book is expository, relaying multiple family histories and the political machinations of individuals and countries on the world stage, primarily the espionage between England and the Soviet Union.

The research is impressive. I can’t say that enough. So is the tangled plot and eventual reveal. There are a lot of secrets. There are also a lot of characters, and it’s important to keep them straight. Pay attention as it’s easy to get lost.

For readers interested in fast-paced James Bond- style action, this book may not be for you since there is no action at all. For readers who love realistic espionage, historical fiction, or a deep dive into 20th-century English-Soviet behind-the-scenes manipulations, this book may be the perfect read.  

Read the reviews and buy the books also in audio: Amazon UK – And : Amazon US – follow Daniel: Goodreads – Website: Author Danny Kemp – Facebook: Books by Daniel – Twitter:@danielkemp6

Thanks for visiting and I know Danny would love your feedback..Have a good weekend…Sally