Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 1st 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Alexa and Hell

Welcome to laughter lines with some gems Debby Gies has discovered online and a few bits of humour from Sally.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon US – And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. Writes – Goodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

For those of you who are not sure what to expect!!!

Is Hell Exothermic?

Actual question on a University of Washington chemistry midterm: “Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.”

Most of the students’ proofs involved Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats up when compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

“First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into hell and the rate they are leaving. I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets into Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume of Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, that “it will be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you,” and taking into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in that area, then 2) cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.