Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 8th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Catnip and Groaners

Welcome to laughter lines with some gems from Debby Gies who has been keeping an eye open for funnies online and some jokes from Sally.

And a video that shows that catnip is to cats what chocolate is to Sally….turn the sound down… thanks to Meme Gig

 

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

David (my husband) has a secret stash… thankfully only one-liners and here is part one of some new groaners…

“I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a
Chinese Wispa.”

I once went to one of those parties where everyone throws their car keys into the middle of the room. I don’t know who got my moped but I’ve been driving that Peugeot for years.

I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.

I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.

You know who really gives kids a bad name? Posh and Becks.

I have a really nice stepladder. Sadly I never knew my real ladder.

I phoned the swine flu hotline and all I got was crackling.

I needed a bank security password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

I was raised as an only child, which really annoyed my sister

My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to
him: “Don’t be Sicily”.

I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. Riveting!

Hedgehogs. Why can’t they just share the hedge?

Contact lenses are a little bit like parents – the older they get the more they irritate you, then you lose one of them and the one that is left behind gives you a constant headache.

My drink was spiked with speed. I didn’t mind so much because I got loads of hoovering done.

I was in my car and I was driving along and my boss rang up and he said: “You’ve been promoted.” And I swerved. He rang again and said “You’re managing director.” And I went into a tree. A policeman came up and said: “What happened to you?” And I said: “I careered off the road.”

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

63 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 8th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Catnip and Groaners

  1. Sally, your oneliners are all superb.
    Debby, I love the addicted cat, and the folding a fitted sheet. I can relate to that. Do they always come off the mattress with anyone else, or is it just me? They’re not long enough for the ends to tuck in.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The groans and jokes were terrific. Thanks, Maids of Mirth. That woman should leave the cat alone. I wonder how she would like someone doing the same to her as she tried to polish off a pint of double fudge chocolate chunk ice cream.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Pingback: *Press This* Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 8th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Catnip and Groaners #188 | Its good to be crazy Sometimes

  4. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – June 6th – 12th 2021 – 1970s hits, Narcissism, Green Kitchen, Humour, Health, Pets, Book and Author Promotions. | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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