Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 15th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Car sales and Divorce negotiations

Welcome to laughter lines with some gems from Debby Gies who has been keeping an eye open for funnies online and some jokes from Sally.

If you have not discovered the non-fiction books by D.G. Kaye: Amazon USAnd: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s column here on Smorgasbord D.G. Kaye Explores the Realms of Relationships 2020

Now something from Sally

Divorce settlement

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning and mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit… Repairmen refused to work in the house… The maid quit… Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back…

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, the man and his new girlfriend stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home……including the curtain rods.

Thanks for dropping in and we hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… Debby and Sally.

77 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – June 15th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Car sales and Divorce negotiations

  1. Wow. A great day of laughs. The memes cracked me up, Debby. Especially the one with the granddaughter buying her grandparents a car. I have to remember that one! And the divorce story… OMG, Sally. I almost feel sorry for the ex-husband. Ha ha.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I loved the fish and chips one and the curtain rod tale – the latter was made all the funnier by the knowledge that the tight exhusband had actually removed the curtain rods to take with him. Thanks to both of you! xx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine – Weekly Round Up – June 13th -19th 2021 – The Doors, Backache, House Training, Author PR, Reviews and Funnies | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

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