Smorgasbord Laughter Lines Extra Rewind – November 16th 2021 – Funnies and Bad Dad Jokes Host Sally Cronin

A delve into the archives tonight with some funnies and a few jokes to make you smile.. I hope you enjoy.

And now time for some more Bad Dad Jokes.. please award groans in the comments…but do not throw anything…thank you Sally.

Why did the COFFEE file a police report
It got mugged.

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CASHIER: “Would you like the milk in a bag, sir?”
DAD: “No thank you, just leave it in the carton!”

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Where can I go to learn HOW TO MAKE ice cream
Sundae school.

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Did you hear about the guy who invented LIFESAVERS
They say he made a mint.

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I’ve been telling everyone about the benefits of eating DRIED GRAPES.
I’m all about raisin awareness!

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What did the GRAPE do when he got stepped on
He let out a little wine.

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Want to hear a joke about PIZZA
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

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What do you call a bear with NO TEETH
A gummy bear.

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WAITER: “Do you wanna box for your LEFTOVERS?”
DAD: “No, but I’ll wrestle you for them!”

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Some guy just hit me in the face with a CHEESE WHEEL.
How dairy.

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I was thinking of going on an all-almond diet.
But that’s just nuts!

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My wife and I were arguing as to who gets to use the MICROWAVE first.
Then things started to get heated.

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Did you hear the joke about the BUTTER
I’d better not tell you; it might spread.

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SERVER: “And how did you find your steak this evening?”
CUSTOMER: “Oh, it was easy; I just looked under the parsley.”

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What did AUNT JEMIMA say when she ran out of PANCAKES
“How waffle.”

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“You have a ‘dad bod!’”
DAD: “I like to think of it more as a father figure.”

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It’s HARD TO SAY what my wife does for a living.
She sells seashells by the seashore.

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What do you call a HIPPIE’S wife
Mississippi.

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I swapped our bed for a TRAMPOLINE.
My wife hit the roof.

I hope this has brightened your day….thanks for dropping by … Sally.