Some writerly funnies that have been floating around the web and hope you enjoy…
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. “In English,” he said, “a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.”
A voice from the back of the room piped up, “Yeah, right.”
A visitor to a certain college paused to admire the new Hemingway Hall that had been built on campus.
“It’s a pleasure to see a building named for Ernest Hemingway,” he said.
“Actually,” said his guide, “it’s named for Joshua Hemingway. No relation.”
The visitor was astonished. “Was Joshua Hemingway a writer, also?”
“Yes, indeed,” said his guide. “He wrote a check.”
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define great, he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!”
He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.
A writer comes home to a burned down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside. “What happened, honey?” the man asks.
“Oh, John, it was terrible,” she weeps. “I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn’t notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn’t make it out of the house. Poor Fluffy is–”
“Wait, wait. Back up a minute,” The man says. “My agent called?”
Pen names
Neither a Borrower ……………Nora Lender Bee
Holmes Does it Again ………..Scott Linyard
Cloning …………………………….Ima Dubble
Inflammation, Please ………….Arthur Itis
House Construction ……………Bill Jerome Home
Leo Tolstoy ……………………..Warren Peace
The French Chef ……………….Sue Flay
Why Cars Stop ………………….M. T. Tank
Ode to the Spell Check
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It cam with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its rare lea ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect awl the weigh
My chequer tolled me sew!
Thanks for dropping in and I hope you are leaving with a smile on your face… .. Sally.
😄😄😄 Thanks, Sally!
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♥♥ Marcia
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I love “Ode to the Spell Check”!
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Thanks Liz.. mine is on sedatives..xxx
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You’re welcome, Sally.
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Fabulous!! Love these, especially the Hemingway Hall! 🙂
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Me too.. happy to name an extension of our house after anyone willing to write a check lol..hugsx
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I liked the Hemingway and Microsoft ones, and all of the pen names!
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Thanks Jim… quite like those myself…xxx
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LOL! I do enjoy these funnies. Thanks, Sally! ❤
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Thanks Colleen…hugsx
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Wonderful chuckles over this collection, Sally. Thank you! 😁
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Great Gwen.. delighted to hear.. hugsx
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Some were laugh-out-loud funny, Sally. Thank you.
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Great thank John… so pleased you enjoyed..hugsx
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“He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.” That line made my day! Thank you, Sally!
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Thanks Rebecca..poor guy.. hugs ♥
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Reblogged this on OPENED HERE >> https:/BOOKS.ESLARN-NET.DE.
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Thanks for sharing the funnies Michael.. goodnight x
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Good night as well, Sally! hugsx
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Hey, its very academic today. Lol xx Michael
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We have to let them have some fun too Michael lol.. hugsx
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Fantastic! Thanks for the enjoyment, Sally! Have a start into Friday! Here, the whole day i only heared about this pandemic. What horror! xx Michael
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It is concerning Michael..and seems never ending..xx
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Awesome jokes, Sally. And that last poem is wonderfully clever. 🙂
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Thanks Diana, there are some wits out there..hugsxx
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These were all hilarious Sal. I’m pretty sure I’m acquainted with the one from Microsoft. Lol 🙂 ❤
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Me too Debby, he also has a job on the side with Amazon lol..♥♥
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Lolol ❤
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Hilarious, Sally – brilliant poem! Toni x
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Glad you enjoyed Toni hugsxx
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For some reason, I found this plus half-a-dozen other Smorgasbords in my spam mail. So glad I didn’t miss this one! I’ll go and check the others now! xx
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I often end up there Alex.. sorry about that.. next year it should be a little lighter as I move to a more streamlined blog… ♥
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I think these were some of your best, Sally. I love every one.
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Thanks very much Viv…have a good weekend.. hugsx
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Always funny!!
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Thanks Jamie..have a good weekend.x
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