Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – December 28th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Balance and Remote Controls…

Firstly, some funnies from Debby Gies whose neighbour Marilyn donated for our enjoyment followed by some recycled jokes from Sally.

D.G. Writes is where you will find an archive full of wonderful posts across several subjects including writing tips, social issues and book reviews.

My thanks to Debby and her neighbour Marilyn for expert foraging…

D. G. Kaye – Buy: Amazon US And: Amazon UK Blog: D.G. WritesGoodreads: D.G. Kaye on Goodreads – Twitter: @pokercubster

Check out Debby’s latest Realms of Relationships here on Smorgasbord: Wrapping up the Year and Covid Lingering Effects

Now for a joke or two from Sally

Now something from Sally’s archives…..

MALE & FEMALE NOUNS:

From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns. Readers were asked to assign a gender to a noun of their choice and explain their reason.

The best submissions:

SWISS ARMY KNIFE: male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

KIDNEYS: female, because they always go to the restroom in pairs.

TIRE: male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.

HOT-AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it… and, of course, there’s the hot-air part.

SPONGES: female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

WEB PAGE: female, because it is always getting hit on.

SHOE: male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

COPIER: female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed, and it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

ZIPLOC BAGS: male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

SUBWAY: male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.

HOURGLASS: female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.

HAMMER: male, because it hasn’t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.

REMOTE CONTROL: female…Ha! You thought I’d say male. But consider: it gives man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.

Thank you for joining us today and Happy New Year… look forward to making you smile for 2022… thanks Sally and Debby.

 

 

63 thoughts on “Smorgasbord Laughter Lines – December 28th 2021 – Hosts Debby Gies and Sally Cronin – Balance and Remote Controls…

  1. What a great way to end the year. With laughter!
    Debby, I just love the cow’s tongue and the egg. And your sofa one just shows the importance of syntax!
    Sally, I agree entirely with the male/female nouns!

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Thank you very much for the laughs and a Happy New Year to you both, which might be the best joke of all if it weren’t such a worry. I’ve been telling people my crystal ball has become a snow globe of late and it seems rather fitting.
    Take care & best wishes,
    Rowena

    Liked by 4 people

  3. loved the bank job, 21th street, and the couch memes…

    and my favorite gender items were the swiss army knife, copier, subway. loved the creativity that people have coming up with these…

    as always, thanks for the laughs…

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Pingback: Smorgasbord Blog Magazine Round Up – December 26th – January 2nd 2022 – New Schedule, Starship, NY Party, Shortstories, Reviews, Bloggers and Funnies | Smorgasbord Blog Magazine

I would be delighted to receive your feedback (by commenting, you agree to Wordpress collecting your name, email address and URL) Thanks Sally

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.